Cathy Sones & Kelly Riley Generations Adoptions 2011 Tapestry Adoption & Foster Care Conference 1
Overview � � What is Open Adoption? � What does the research say about Open Adoption? � How does Open Adoption affect the people involved? � What does Open Adoption look like over the course of the years? 2
Open Adoption � What it is… And what is isn’t 3
Open Adoption is… � � A reaction to secretive, closed adoptions � About relationships � A transfer of power from adoption professionals to birthparents and adoptive families 4
An adoption where the birth mother selects and meets the adoptive family; identifying information is exchanged and there are plans for ongoing contact without agency involvement. Both the birthmother and adoptive parents are open to contact prior to and subsequent to the placement. Contact information is exchanged. Communication and contact varies adoption to adoption, birth family to adoptive family. Contact can take various forms such as pictures, letters, blogs, emails, visits, and/or phone calls. Some agreements include all types of contact and some include a few. Each adoption is unique. 5
Open Adoption is NOT… � � Co-parenting In a study of adoptive parents’ feelings about openness 7 years � Glorified babysitting after finalization, 100% of parents agreed that “ knowing my child’s � Confusing for the child birthparents comforts me .” (Siegel, 2003) � An “anything goes” arrangement 6
Why Open Adoption? � � Child’s undeniable connection to birth parents � Reality rather than child’s fantasy � Shows that birth parents did not reject the child � Birth parents know their child is ok and see the outcome of their decision � Adoptive parents feel more entitlement as parents with “permission” from birth parents � Honesty and openness promote healthy relationships 7
Research: � What does it say about Open Adoption? 8
Against Common Misconceptions (Child Welfare Information Gateway, 2003) � � Parties in open adoptions are NOT confused about their parenting rights and responsibilities. � Birth mothers do NOT attempt to “reclaim” their children. � Biological parents do not pressure adoptive parents � Adoptive parents who know birth parents have less fear � Birth parents do not talk to adopted children about it 9
� Children in open adoptions are NOT confused about who “[She’s] mainly a friend, I guess, I mean she doesn’t have like a their parents are. parental role, because I already have that. She’s mainly just another person who loves me.” � They do understand � (Berge, et al., 2006, p. 1033) the different roles of adoptive and birth parents in their lives. 10
� Adoptive openness does NOT appear to influence an adoptee’s self-esteem in any negative way. � Another significant person in a child’s life to love them � Access to the reasons why they were placed for adoption � Openness contributes to healthy identity formation 11
� Adoptive parents in open adoptions do NOT feel less in control and have a greater sense of permanence in their relationship with their child. � Open adoption does NOT interfere with adoptive parents’ sense of entitlement—that they have the right to parent their adopted child. 12
As the relationship progresses… � 4.5 years later 7 years later � High satisfaction that there was � No parents regretted the open adoption, any attitude changes an open relationship were positive � High satisfaction with contact � All respondents believed the child is better off with access to birth � No pressure from biological parents parents � Knowing birthparents provided comfort to both adoptive parents � Factors in success and children � Choice � Education and preparation � Relationships changed Written agreement � (Siegel, 2003) (Etter, 1993) 13
Long Range Expectations (Crea & Barth, 2009) � � After 10 years, parents felt less control over contact between the child and birth family � The number who felt uncomfortable with contact declined � It is not unlikely that some open adoptions will close (stop contact) over time � In those that remain open, contact tends to increase 14
When Openness Changes (Child Welfare Information Gateway, 2003) � Increase in Contact Decrease in Contact � Geographical distance � Mutual concern for the child’s well being � Major differences in life situations, interests, or values � Friendship develops � Change in a birth family between birth and adoptive situation parents � Inability to find a mutual comfort zone � Regular communication � Perception that contact is stressful for the child 15
Openness and Adoptive Identity Formation (Von Korff & Grotevant, 2011) � � Adoptive Identity: Sense of meaning and understanding of self, that includes linking past, present, and future as related to a person’s adopted status � Contact with birth family has been observed to promote adoptive identity formation 16
� Identity formation happens in the stories that a person develops and communicates about themselves � Identity formation is a joint task of the individual and “identity agents” who guide stories and meaning- making � Events are interpreted through conversation, internally and with others 17
Former Model of Openness and Identity � Adoptive Openness Identity (Contact) Increased contact with birth family promotes adoptive identity formation 18
New Model of Openness and Identity (Von Korff & Grotevant, 2011) � Sex Adoptive Family Identity Conversation Age Openness does not directly affect adoptive identity formation. Openness Openness increases family conversation (Contact) about adoption which increases adoptive identity formation. 19
Structural and Communicative Openness � � Structural Openness means arrangements are made for post-adoption contact between birth family and adoptive family � Communicative Openness means openly sharing with a child about his/her pre-adoptive history � Both can lead to healthy identity development 20
How Openness can Facilitate Identity Formation � � Personal and genetic history � Resolution to questions surrounding loss of biological family � Contradiction to child’s self-blame for the loss of biological family � Promotion of security in the adoptive family 21
Openness and Identity Formation in Transracial/Transcultural Adoptions � � Ability to navigate racial difference between self and family � Sense of acceptance from racial/cultural group � Opportunity for biculturalism � Experience community of origin independent of parents � Preparation for racist encounters 22
How does Open Adoption Affect those Involved? � The Adoption Triad: Birthparents, Adoptive Parents, and Child (Berge, Mendenhall, Wrobel, Grotevant, & McRoy, 2006) 23
Christine 24
For Birthparents � � Opportunity to make a plan for their child provides a sense of control in their lives � Provides assurance of updates about the child’s wellbeing � Assists the birthmother in the grieving process 25
For Adoptive Parents � � Adoptive parents have greater satisfaction in open adoptions � More equipped to answer their children’s questions � Greater sense of entitlement as parents � Openness does not affect feelings of closeness to a child 26
For Children � � Receive the biggest benefit from openness � Integration of birth history into their identity � Decreases unhealthy fantasizing about birthparents � Extra support from another person in their life who cares about them � Enables the child to deal with difficult questions from peers and others � Ability to see selflessness in the birthmother’s actions, helping them feel gratitude toward her 27
Open Adoption Over the Years � 28
As a Child Grows… � Initially, keeping an adoption open may stem largely from the needs of adults. As a child gets older, the need for access to birth parents becomes stronger Talk about adoption in a way that is meaningful at the child’s point of development 29
Birth – 3 years � � Develop positive adoption language � Use positive voice tone and facial expressions when talking about adoption and birth family � Talk about adoption and their adoption story often! The child should grow up knowing they are adopted 30
3 – 7 years � � Children love to hear their story � Answer questions simply and concretely � Explain that the child grew inside his/her birth mother � Include information about the birth father � Child begins to understand loss, explain that the birth family planned for the adoptive family to raise the child � Emphasize permanence in the adoptive family � Children benefit from concrete evidence of birth parent's care such as physical contact and gifts � Remain positive: Children can sense a parent's discomfort with questions or contact 31
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