Keeping Your Love Alive
The Presenter Cathy Alford Cathy is an executive coach and is credentialed with ICF – the International Coach Federation. She partners with her clients to identify individual strengths, team dynamics, and growth opportunities for intentional and engaged living. She is director of LifeWorks Resource Group, a coaching and counseling center located in Columbus, Georgia. As an adjunct faculty member at Columbus State University, Cathy has taught coach training as part of the Master of Science Organizational Leadership Program. She is a contributing author in the book Inspired Women Succeed and the author of If Only We Could Talk: Three Simple Steps to Parent-Teen Conversations .
Main Topics • Types of love relationships • The keys to longevity • Coping with relationship challenges and conflict • Balancing styles and keeping it fresh • The 10 relationship essentials
Types of Love Relationships • Eros • Ludus • Storge • Pragma • Mania • Agape
How Do You Want Your Partner to Express Love? A. I like to receive notes of affirmation or I like to be hugged B. I like to spend one-to-one time with a person who is special to me or I feel loved when someone gives practical help to me C. I like to sit close to people whom I enjoy being around or I like for people to tell me I am attractive/handsome
Poll How do you prefer to express your love for your partner? A. Words of affirmation B. Acts of service C. Giving gifts D. Quality time E. Physical touch
The Triangular Theory of Love • Intimacy • Passion • Commitment
Quote “Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle.” - Amy Bloom
The Keys to Longevity • Establish “we” time and respect “me” time • Be clear about relationship expectations and boundaries • Discover interests to share as a couple as well as solo
More Keys to Longevity • Show appreciation frequently • Learn to fight “fair” • Distinguish between the mountains and the molehills • Recognize your individual and relationship communication patterns
Poll All relationships face challenges at some point – it’s inevitable. However, it’s not necessarily the challenge that holds the greatest weight. Rather, it’s how you respond to the challenge that has the greatest impact. A. I agree B. I disagree
Coping With Relationship Challenges • Is the issue situational, a reflection of communication strategies, or both? • Does the issue truly need to be addressed, or do you just want him or her to be more like you? • How do external relationships, childhood issues, and other commitments influence your perceptions?
Conflict Management Styles • Compromising • Competing • Collaborating • Avoiding • Accommodating
Quote “Love is a choice you make from moment to moment.” - Barbara De Angelis
Balancing Relationship Styles • Identify key communication preferences and stress management strategies • Identify misperceptions and corresponding conclusions stemming from different styles • Remember that what the behavior means to your partner may be different from what it means to you
Poll What do you feel is your greatest relationship challenge? A. Boredom B. Not enough quality time together C. Trying to keep up with everything else D. Feeling unappreciated E. External pressures and/or other family relationships
Keeping It Fresh • Plan surprises – what has your partner always wanted to do? • Plan a weekend getaway • Separate relationship issues from general life issues
The 10 Relationship Essentials 1. Maintain a sense of humor 2. Be generous with praise 3. Learn what is most important to your partner in terms of sharing your love 4. Be creative in expressing appreciation 5. Don’t expect your partner to read your mind
The 10 Relationship Essentials 6. Regularly schedule special time together 7. Identify the real issue when disagreeing 8. Listen without judging or correcting 9. Forgive and let go 10.Keep in mind what really matters in the big picture
When to Seek Support From a Professional Sometimes life stressors can become more than any one person, or even any one couple, can manage on their own. Individual or couples counseling can help you navigate situations where you feel “stuck” or overwhelmed. These may include • Life transitions that leave you feeling unsettled or “adrift” • Feeling “stuck” in patterns or on issues that you can’t seem to resolve • Stressors such as health, mental health, or addiction issues • Family or financial stressors
Resources Contact your EAP or Work-Life Program for Assistance
Thanks for Joining Us! Questions?
Works Cited Becker-Phelps, L. (2011, September 29). 10 essential factors for a healthy relationship. Retrieved January 13, 2016, from http://blogs.webmd.com/art-of- relationships/2011/09/10-essential-factors-for-a-healthy-relationship.html Chapman, G. (n.d.). The five love languages . Retrieved January 13, 2016, from http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile Dewey, R. D. (n.d.). Six types of love. In Psychology: An introduction (part 3) . Retrieved January 13, 2016, from http://www.intropsych.com/ch16_sfl/six_types_of_love.html King, V. (2009, October 14). Six styles of love . Retrieved January 13, 2016, from http://valarie-king.hubpages.com/hub/Understanding-Different-Types-of-Lovers
Works Cited Meier, J. D. Five conflict management styles at a glance . Retrieved January 13, 2016, from http://sourcesofinsight.com/conflict-management-styles-at-a-glance Whitbourne, S. K. (2013, August 17). Which of the seven types of love relationships fits yours? Retrieved January 13, 2016, from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment- any-age/201308/which-the-7-types-love-relationships-fits-yours Case study: the triangular theory of love. Retrieved January 14, 2016, from http://psypress.co.uk/smithandmackie/resources/study.asp?study=ch11-cs-02
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