Outline Joint International Conference: 8th International Conference on ESP in Asia and 3rd International Symposium on Innovative Teaching and Research in ESP Part 1 Training Japanese Industry Research Incorporating Experiences of Training Scientists and Engineers to Write Proper Japanese Industry Research Scientists Technical Papers in English and Engineers in EAP and ESP Courses (Practices at Hitachi Research Laboratories) at Engineering Graduate Schools in Japan The University of Electro-Communications Part 2 Application of the Methods to Creation of August 19, 2016 New Technical Writing and Presentation Courses at Engineering Graduate Schools Yoshimasa A. Ono (Practices at School of Engineering, the Univ. Senior Visiting Scientist RIKEN Center for Emergent Matter Science of Tokyo and other engineering grad. schools) yoshimasa.a.ono@riken.jp Part 1 Steps for Writing Technical Papers in English for Industry Research Engineers (1) Steps for Writing Technical Papers in English (1) Patent Application (2) Characteristic Attitudes and Problems (2) Internal Technical Reports Writing (in Japanese) (3) Four Rules for Writing Improvements ・ Translate from Japanese to Japanese First, and (3) Translation of Technical Reports into English (4) Check and Correction (Rewriting) (by me): Then Translate It into English Contents and Sentence/Paragraph Structures ・ State Conclusions First (5) Native-Speaker Check by English-Speaking ・ Follow the English Writing Style of Introduction, Scientists or Engineers Body, and Conclusion ・ Write English Following the “Leggett’s Tree” Format (6) Final Revision of the manuscript (7) Acquisition of Publication Permission (4) Results: Number of Publications and PhDs (8) Submission to Journals/International Conferences (5) Conclusions of Part 1 Problems of Technical English Characteristic Attitudes of Japanese Engineers towards Writing in English Written by Japanese Engineers (1) They have only learned English composition: they (1) Meaning of sentences the authors intended can be can translate Japanese short sentences into English usually guessed by a Japanese reviewer (i.e., me). using Japanese-English dictionaries. To be understood by native speaker engineers, a large => They can manage sentence-level grammar and syntax. portion of the original manuscript have to be revised. (2) They are much less skillful in managing the design of (2) Technical terms in their own fields are properly used, technical papers on structural level beyond sentences. but most sentences have flavor of Japanese way of => They fail to connect sentences into effective patterns thinking with full of incorrect use of articles and of arrangement. Sentences are not logically sequenced prepositions. and paragraphs lack clear unity and coherence. (3) Although most sentences are grammatically correct, Many technical papers written by Japanese it is difficult to grasp the meaning of series of engineers fail to communicate! sentences. 1
Checkpoints of Translated Manuscripts Correction Example (1) Clarification of contents of the manuscript: Verbal explanation in Japanese by the author to me (2) Clarification of sentences and contents: “What is the subject of this sentence?” “What do you really want to say in this sentence?” “What do you mean by this choice of word?” (3) Other important items to be checked: Articles (“a” or “the” or no article) Countable or uncountable nouns (singular or plural) Prepositions Example of Japanese Four Rules for Writing Improvement to Japanese Translation for Japanese Industry Engineers Word-for-word direct translation 1. Translate from Japanese to Japanese first , and When there is oil on the floor, then translate it into English. Do not translate it can cause you to fall down. directly from Japanese to English . Problems: 2. State your conclusions first , then state causes or - Do not use “There is (are). . . .” sentence give explanations. structure in technical writing. - Since “it” means “oil,” “it” is redundant. 3. Follow the English writing style of introduction, body, and conclusion . Do not follow the Japanese Solution (Japanese to Japanese Translation): writing style of “ki-sho-ten-ketsu.” - Choose the most important word “oil” as the subject, and write an SVO-format sentence. 4. Write sentences in the English-way-of-thinking style: Oil on the floor can cause you to fall down. Write English following the Leggett’s tree formats . Japanese to Japanese Translation First; Japanese Structure vs. English Structure Then Translation into English Japanese English First Step: Reasons first, Conclusions first, Necessary items of the translated Japanese then conclusions then reasons 1. Every sentence must have a subject (S) , a corresponding verb (V), and an object (O) : Example: How to turn down an invitation it must follow the English writing style. [E] : “Thank you, but no thank you, because I am 2. Only one result or one cause in one sentence. already engaged. 3. Sentences must be placed in the English [J] : “I have to prepare my report for tomorrow, and order of reasoning. in addition I have a slight cold. So I am sorry to say that I cannot join you this evening. Second Step: Translate each sentence into English. 2
Japanese Structure （△） English Sentences in Three Steps vs. English Structure （▽） vs. Japanese Sentences in Four Steps English sentences are written in three steps : English sentences are written in three steps : Japanese Structure Japanese Structure English Structure English Structure Time Flow Time Flow Introduction -- Topic Sentence Introduction -- Topic Sentence Conclusions at First Conclusions at First ⇒ Native speakers of ⇒ Native speakers of Body Body -- Supporting Sentences -- Supporting Sentences English are comfortable English are comfortable Conclusion -- Concluding Sentence Conclusion -- Concluding Sentence and understand all. and understand all. On the other hand, Japanese sentences are written On the other hand, Japanese sentences are written Conclusion Conclusion in four steps : ki (introduction), sho (development), in four steps : ki (introduction), sho (development), Conclusion Conclusion ten (turn: jump to something else), and ketsu ten (turn: jump to something else), and ketsu Conclusions at Last Conclusions at Last (conclusion). (conclusion). ⇒ Native speakers of ⇒ Native speakers of English cannot wait till English cannot wait till To native speakers of English: To native speakers of English: the end. They would the end. They would leave in the middle. leave in the middle. - ten (turn) puzzles them - ten (turn) puzzles them - ketsu (conclusion) is different from that of English. - ketsu (conclusion) is different from that of English. 外山滋比古（著）、「英語の発想・日本語の発想」（日本放送出版協会、 1992 ） Example of Rewritten Verse in “ki-sho-ten-ketsu” Verse the English Style 大阪、本町 糸屋の娘 （起（ ki ）） In a thread shop on the main street in Osaka, In English, conclusion must be stated first. are living two pretty girls. - Introduction In a thread shop on the main street in Osaka, 姉は十八、妹は十六 （承（ sho ）） are living two pretty girls with beautiful eyes . The older one is eighteen and the younger is sixteen. - Development - Introduction 諸国大名は弓矢で殺す （転（ ten ）） The older one is eighteen and the younger is Japanese feudal lords in various regions are sixteen. - Development killing people with bows and arrows. - Turn Men in the neighborhood have lost their heart 糸屋の娘は目で殺す （結（ ketsu ）） to girls’ charming dark eyes. Each girl is killing men with an alluring wink. - Conclusion - Conclusion Write in the English Way of Thinking Experiment Description in (Follow the Leggett’s Tree Format) the Japanese-English Format Leggett’s Trees of Sentence Structure and Flow ① In this connection, ② at room temperature ③ at the measuring frequency 10 kHz, ④ with Au-electrodes evaporated on the whole area of the crystal surfaces, ⑤ the dielectric constant and, ⑥ at the same time, ⑦ the loss tangent were measured . English Style Japanese-English Style ② ③ ④ You have to read till the last You can get the meaning ① to get the meaning. as is written. ⑤ ⑤ Ref.: A. J. Leggett, “Notes on the writing of scientific English for Japanese physicists,” ⑦ ⑥ Butsuri (Journal of the Physical Society of Japan) 21 (1966) 790-805. 3
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