Dealing with Difficult People, Places and Things Presented By: - PDF document

Dealing with Difficult People, Places and Things Presented By: Lisa Harjo Objectives By the end of this session you will know how to: • Understand the influences of power and gender in conflict management • Recognize and benefit from interpersonal differences • Identify various ways to deal with conflict Dealing with Difficult People • When confronted with a difficult people or situations, there are a choice of actions available. • Most people fall into a pattern of reaction. • Being aware and acting in the moment bring success. 1

Dealing with Difficult People • Options: –React –Say or do nothing –Leave the room or situation –Change your own attitude, then actions Conflict in the Workplace • Activity – Think of your most recent conflict or disagreement with someone. – In your participant manual, generate a list of descriptive words for the emotions and attitudes that accompanied the conflict. – Determine whether those words are negative, neutral or positive. Four Elements to Success 1. Know what you want 2. Pay close attention 3. Be flexible 4. Make a commitment 2

Skills to Help You Work with People • Pacing • Body language • Back tracking • Voice tone • Listening • Get feedback • Give compliments Types of Conflict 1. Negative Conflict – Negative (counterproductive) conflict, the type associated with workplace violence, occurs when co-workers or employees behave in ways that work against the interest of the overall organization. It is often characterized by deceitfulness, vindictiveness, personal agendas, and anger Negative Conflict • In negative conflict situations people often: – View others as adversaries – Are more concerned with protecting themselves and winning at any cost – See other people as expenses rather than investments – Take negative statements personally – Don’t try to get to the REAL issue 3

Negative Conflict (cont’d) • Negative conflict often results in mistrust, personal attacks, and feelings of restriction on thoughts and information. Types of Conflict (cont’d) 2. Positive Conflict – Positive (productive) conflict occurs when right minded, well meaning people disagree, without being disagreeable, concerning the best interest of the organization. Properly managed conflict has the improvement of products, processes, people and/or the workplace at its source. Positive Conflict • In positive conflict situations people with different points of view and personality often: – Show mutual respect for differing points of view and personalities – Are supportive of each other – Are supportive of forward progress toward a common end result – Are secure enough to communicate openly – Avoid playing games or manipulating the outcome – Assert themselves to achieve positive results 4

Positive Conflict (cont’d) • Positive conflict often results in clarification of misunderstandings, open and on-going communication, the feeling that problems will be addressed and solved, and creative and diverse ideas being encouraged. Diffusing Conflict Situations • Use humor • Ask for help or clarification • Be patient • Don’t get angry or upset • Be calm – tame your emotions • Separate upset, involved parties • Hold mediation sessions ASAP after cool down. It’s Business, NOT Personal: Taming Emotions in the Workplace. • Tame your emotions with your boss • Tame your emotions with your co-workers • Tame your emotions with your customers 5

Styles of Conflict Management • Forcing - using formal authority or other power that you possess to satisfy your concerns without regard to the concerns of the party that you are in conflict with. • Accommodating - allowing the other party to satisfy their concerns while neglecting your own. • Avoiding - not paying attention to the conflict and not taking any action to resolve it. Styles of Conflict Management (cont’d) • Compromising - attempting to resolve a conflict by identifying a solution that is partially satisfactory to both parties, but completely satisfactory to neither. • Collaborating - cooperating with the other party to understand their concerns and expressing your own concerns in an effort to find a mutually and completely satisfactory solution (win-win). Grievance Procedures • When to use a grievance procedure • Problems you might want to raise with your employer could involve: – your terms of employment – pay and working conditions – disagreements with co-workers • Discrimination • Not getting your statutory employment rights 6

Grievance Procedures (cont’d) • What is a grievance? –A grievance is a process through which an employee can raise a workplace concern with his or her agency’s management. Grievance Procedures (cont’d) • A grievance can have up to four phases: (1) the management resolution steps; (2) qualification for hearing; (3) hearing; and (4) review of the hearing decision. Grievance Procedures (cont’d) • A grievance procedure is one of the ways to resolve a problem at work. • However, you might try talking with your employer informally before using the formal grievance procedure, to see if that helps. 7

Mediation • Mediation allows for both parties to: – Discuss the issues raised; – Clear up misunderstandings; – Determine the underlying interests or concerns; – Find areas of agreement; and, ultimately – To incorporate those areas of agreement into resolutions. Mediation Procedures What are the 10 Reasons to use Mediation? 1. Mediation is free. 2. Mediation is fair and neutral. 3. Mediation saves time and money. Mediation Procedures (cont’d) 4. Mediation is confidential. 5. Mediation avoids litigation. 6. Mediation fosters cooperation. 7. Mediation improves communication. 8

Mediation Procedures (cont’d) 8. Mediation helps to discover the real issues in your workplace. 9. Mediation allows you to design your own solution. 10. With mediation, everyone wins. Coping Strategies: Your Rights • Set behavioral limits and consequences when abusive behavior or tone is directed at you. • Create the expectation that the other person will work in an open, problem solving and professional manner to come to a workable solution. • Expect that management will help, but may not be able to solve the problem without your cooperation and that of the other person. Coping Strategies: Your Responsibilities • Approaching the other person in a professional, problem solving manner to work things out. • Avoiding actions (such as gossip) that will make the situation worse. • A willingness to recognize that you have probably contributed to the problem. • Listening to the other person, rather than trying to convince or bully them to your way of thinking. • Seeking help from others in an open and constructive manner. 9

Steps Toward Effective Coping • Emphasize common goals and mutual influence • Communicate openly, and publicly test assumptions and beliefs • Combine advocacy with inquiry Self-Examination • Where do you fall on the chart? High Assertive Integrative Advocacy Low Passive Accommodating High Low Inquiry Thank You Enjoy the Conference! 10