Worries, Stress and Stressbusting Dr. Richard Slinger Lancashire Emotional Health in Schools Service
What is anxiety or worry, or fear or stress? • Worry is a NORMAL experience that happens to EVERYONE
How would you describe it? • If stress, worry or anxiety was a ‘thing’ that you could see, what would it look like? • Would it be like an animal, or a monster, or an object, or a shape or a pattern? • Would it say anything, or do anything?
Worries and stress come from….
Cavemen and Cavewomen • Thousands of years ago the world was a much more dangerous place. We needed to stay safe so our brains evolved ways to do this. • There aren’t so many dangers now, but our brains still try to keep us safe in the same way.
The Caveman Mind Tells Us • Always be on the lookout for danger. • If something goes wrong, remember it and replay it. • Always try to fit in with the group. • Compare yourself to others to see if you are doing it right. • This is just our brain trying to keep us safe. • But all of these things cause us stress!
What is stress? • Stress is something that happens in our bodies and our minds – It happens to everybody – Like an alarm system alerting you to threats – It gets your body ready to: • Fight (stand and fight) • Flight (run away) • Freeze (wait for danger to pass)
What is stress? • Stress and fear are responses to things our brains think are dangers . • It’s job is to keep us safe
What we think changes how we feel
Stress and the Brain NEW BRAIN Helps us get control ‘Upstairs’ or ‘new brain’ ‘Downstairs’ or ‘old brain’ Caveman Brain Signals danger
Emotions and the Brain NEW BRAIN: at the front is our ‘thinking brain’ CAVEMAN/OLD BRAIN: in the This takes 19 centre of our years from brain is the when you are ‘alarm system’ born to that keeps working fully track of everything unpleasant and threatening
Emotions and the Brain NEW BRAIN: CAVEMAN/OLD the sound of BRAIN: the alarm something we makes it see as dangerous harder to or threatening think sets the alarm off
What would your old brain do? • Will make us feel panicky, hot and sweaty • Turn our legs to jelly • Make our heart pound • Make us freeze • Make us want to get down • Stop us talking • Stop us thinking
We need the new brain to help… • I’m on a harness, I can’t fall off • I can stop this at any time • People have done this before and been ok • It’s not THAT high!
What Are Our Minds Like?
Overthinking When our minds start telling us stories and over-thinking, it often makes us stressed, as the stories it tells us are negative. This is the mind looking for danger and trying to keep us safe.
Do You Ever…? I need to get everything right, or there’s no point
Do You Ever…? I’m so rubbish at this I’m such a worrier
Do You Ever…? That was good….but it doesn’t count Next time will be worse I still didn’t do it perfectly
Do You Ever…? It will never get better Everyone is better than me at this Nothing will ever change
Our Minds • Are hard to control • Tell us stories to try to make sense of things • Try to keep us safe by telling us that things are dangerous • Too much information in the world, so it looks for danger first
What Can We Do? Feelings •Learn to relax •Think differently about a Thoughts situation •Do more things that Mood make you happy
Stopping Worries Right Now STOP! BREATHE BE LET LET IT IT GO HERE
When You Notice Your STOP! Mind Making Worries • STOP: say ‘STOP’ to yourself when worrying thoughts happen • DISTRACT YOURSELF: do something else, think about something else
FOFBOC F EET O n the F LOOR B OTTOM O n the C HAIR
STOP! Distract - 54321 • Name 5 things you can see in the room with you • Name 4 things you can feel (“chair on my back” or “feet on floor”) • Name 3 things you can hear right now • Name 2 things you can smell right now (or, 2 things you like the smell of) • Name 1 good thing about yourself
BREATHE
Why Think About Breathing? • Stress makes our bodies ready to fight or run away • This makes us breathe faster • This makes us hot, dizzy, and distracted • This then makes us more worried!! • If we can control our breathing we can feel calmer
BREATHE Square Breathing
BE HERE
Our minds are like a time machine • We are here right now. • But our minds are often time travelling: – To the past, thinking about things that have happened – To the future, thinking about things that haven’t happened yet
BE HERE Be Here Now - Mindfulness • How to calm our minds • Keep your mind, your attention and your focus on this moment, here and now in THE PRESENT
BE HERE
LE LET IT GO IT GO
What Do You See?
Which of These Thoughts Are True? • I can see into the future • I know what other people are thinking • I know what I will get in my exams • If I think about something a lot, it will happen • If I worry about something enough, it won’t happen • OUR MINDS TELL US ALL OF THESE ARE TRUE
Struggling with Worries Can we ever get rid of worries? NO – we will always find something to worry about BUT – we can stop struggling and try to relax AND – accept that worries are NORMAL
Stop Struggling and LET I T IT T GO Let It Go Tell yourself calming things like…… It’s just my brain telling me things Thoughts are not real, they are made by my mind
Stopping Worries THINK! BE KIND TO YOURSELF
Stressed Thoughts • Can we learn to notice when our minds cause us problems? • Can we ‘talk back’ to them, and stop them bothering us? • We can only do this when our brain is working well: STOP, BREATHE, BE HERE and LET IT GO need to come first.
Bossing Back Thoughts • Our minds say things like: “I’m going to mess this up” “I don’t think people will like me” “This always goes wrong”
Bossing Back Thoughts • Is this thought really true? • What are the facts? • Even if it is true, can I stop letting it bother me? • Is there better way of looking at this?
Bossing Back Thoughts • “I’m really going to mess this up” This might not be true - it hasn’t happened yet! What are the facts? How have you done this before? What helps? How bad would it be if you didn’t do it well?
Looking After Ourselves • Do you ever find little things stressful, for no reason? • This can be a sign that we are not looking after ourselves well. • And that our skills to cope with stress are being used up elsewhere.
Stress Bucket Drink spills on the floor Phone breaks Argument with mum Fall out with a friend Stress Tests Stress Stress Stress
Emptying your stress bucket • Tell someone and talk about it • Remember it is normal to feel stressed, and doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you • Try drawing your stress bucket tonight – can you talk to someone about it? • What ideas do you have for looking after yourself?
Be Kind to Yourself • Am I doing enough of the things I enjoy? • Am I getting enough sleep? • Am I being active enough? • Am I thinking about stuff too much? • When can I ‘switch off’?
What Should I Remember From Today? • Worry and stress are normal. But some things can help • Practice ways to calm worries: STOP, BREATHE, BE HERE, LET IT GO • THINK - try bossing back your thoughts • Talk to someone • Remember to do the things you enjoy
Thanks for listening!
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