The Torah does not prohibit crying. Baruch HaTov VeHameitiv. When - - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

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Nov 13, 2022 110 likes •188 views

1. Coping with Bad News 1 Gemara Brachos 54a 2 When receiving good news we say, Chofetz Chaim The Torah

SLIDE 1

1. Coping with Bad News

Chofetz Chaim הער איהש הפורת לע רמול ןכתי אלש םשכש אוהש בצמ לע רמול ןיא ןכ … הרמ איהש קר רמ אוהש םא יכ ער

Just like you can’t say a medication is bad, only that it is bitter, so too a situation can never be called bad, only bitter.

If we hear that someone was hurt, should we think that it was all for the best... or is this only for personal events, when things happen to US?

Gemara Brachos – 54a ביטמהו בוטה ךורב רמוא תובוט תורושב לע תמאה ןייד ךורב רמוא תוער תורושב לע

When receiving good news we say, “Baruch HaTov VeHameitiv.” When receiving bad news we say, “Baruch Dayan HaEmes.”

Ramban - Devarim 14:1

ולא יאסר הכתוב הבכי The Torah does not prohibit crying. “

”

I was very

angry. I

stopped saying blessings. I stopped praying.

4 Devarim – 14:1

םכיקלא 'הל םתא םינב

You are sons to Hashem your G-d.

Ibn Ezra לכ יכ … ןבל באהמ רתוי םכתא בהוא אוהו אוה בוטל השעי רשא

He loves you more than a father loves his son…. and all that He does is for the good.

SLIDE 2

Summary:

Sometimes things happen in life that are not so pleasant. How should we react to them? We are obligated to bless Hashem for the bad as well as the good. Not only that, but both blessings must be made with a similar full acceptance of Hashem’s will, with no resent- ment! Dovid Hamelech excelled in this middah. The Ramban explains that this does not mean that you are not allowed to cry when sad things happen. You can be sad and still understand that Hashem is doing this for your good. Like the Chofetz Chaim said, “Just like you can’t say a medication is bad, only that it is bitter, so too a situation can never be called bad, only bitter.” To accomplish this, you need to understand that Hashem loves you like a father. All that He does is truly in your best interest, even when it is hard. In Olam Haba, we will be shown how everything that happened was really for our good.

Biography:

Rabbi Abraham ben Meir Ibn Ezra is usually called simply “Ibn Ezra.” His adventurous life began in Tudela, Spain around the year 1092. He was a master of Torah, poetry, philosophy, Jewish grammar, astronomy and mathematics. He spent the first half of his life in various cities in the Arabic part of Spain, always in financial difficultY. In one of his poems he makes fun of his ill fortune and complains that “if he were to sell candles, the sun would never set; if he would deal in shrouds, no one would ever die.” He spent the second half of his life traveling from country to country, including: Africa, Egypt, Eretz Yisroel, Babylon, Persia, Italy, France and England. He died in Spain at about seventy-five years of age.

Coping with Bad News

SLIDE 3

2. Talking to Hashem

Chofetz Chaim – Likutei Amarim 10 הרשע הנומשה ללפתמש המב םדאה קפתסי אלו ךירצ םויב םימעפ המכ אלא ,םוי לכב םימעפ ‘ג אוהשכ ומצע ןיבל וניב תושקבו תולפת ךופשל אבילד אקמועמ ותיבב A person should not be satisfjed with the Shmoneh Esreh that he prays three times a day. Rather, many times a day he must pray and beseech [Hashem] privately at home, from the depths of his heart.

3 Gemara Taanis - 9a

אוה ךורב שודקהל הייוסנל ירש ימו 'ה תא וסנת אל ביתכהו Are you allowed to test Hashem? [Of course you can’t]. The pasuk states, “Do not test Hashem.”

4Vayikra Rabbah – 10:3

בותכה ובביחש הכז ,ותקיתש לע לביק רכש המ ומצע ינפב רבידה וילע דחייו What reward did [Aharon] receive for his silence [when he accepted the tragedy of his sons’ death]? He merited that the verse cherished him and Hashem spoke to him directly!

2 Gra – Ishei Israel

ודבאי אלש םהל ןעשמ אוה םתלאש אובי םדוק ךרבתי וב םנוחטב Even before you get the answer to your request, Hashem is there to provide a support for you, so that you never lose your faith.

“Hashem wants us to ask him to help us feel his presence in our

lives. Try it! The results can be

surprising”

” “

I was over- come with emotion, and I said to Hashem, ‘Help me

ut, cure my

child...’

SLIDE 4

Summary:

The Chofetz Chaim taught us that we must daven to Hashem in

ur own words, outside of the regular prayers, to ask Him for what

we need. We should make the conversations personal. Sometimes, Hashem will talk back to us, and send us messages, like the Gra explained, and just like in the video. It may not be the answer you were hoping for, it may just be a hug from Hashem to remind you that He is with you. Yosef received such a hug on his way to Egypt. Don’t make deals about this with Hashem. The Gemara stresses that we are not allowed to test Hashem. We are just asking Him for what we need, and sometimes we might get a sign. Accepting Hashem’s decree even when it’s hard is a great way to merit a kiss from Hashem! The Medrash teaches us that if you can master the lesson of the first slide, and you recognize that even when something bad happens, it’s from Hashem and for your good, you may get a clear message from Hashem, just like Aharon did.

Talking to Hashem

Biography:

Rabbi Eliyahu Kramer (1720-1797) was known to all as the the Vilna Gaon, or the Gra, for short. The word “gaon” means genius and this title fit him perfectly. His intelligence was apparent from a young age; at seven he gave his first shiur. The study of Torah was of paramount importance to the

Gaon. His diligence in learning is legendary. The Gaon’s son

testified that for fifty years his father did not sleep for more than two hours a day. His breadth of knowledge was

amazing. He was capable of saying from memory, the num-

ber of times any Rabbi was mentioned in any particular

masechta. His righteousness and kindness was legendary.

Despite his personal poverty, he always gave twenty percent of his income to charity. The Gaon studied in isolation for forty years. From that point on, he began to take in students from the outstanding Torah scholars of that

time. One of the most famous of the Gaon’s

students was Rabbi Chaim of Volozhin, founder

f the Volozhiner Yeshiva.

SLIDE 5 When sad things happen, either to us or to other people, it’s hard to remember that somehow, it’s for the

best. The next time that you hear about something sad,

take a moment and think about it. Remember that it’s from Hashem, our Father who loves us, and it is for the best, even if you can’t see how. Hashem is your Father and you are His child. This is

ften hard to relate to, but we have a practice model in

every day life: our parents! For the next week, once a day, when your parent does something for you, try and remember that Hashem is also your Father, and He loves you just like a parent. Try and implement this new type of prayer. Once a day,

utside of the normal framework of prayer, try to turn to

Hashem and tell Him something. It doesn’t have to be long conversation, and it doesn’t have to be a request. It can be something that you need, or it can be something for which you just want to thank you. The main thing is to use your own words and be honest about it. Ideally, try and get some time alone so that you can actually say the words aloud. Hashem talks back to us. The messages that we get from Him are sprinkled throughout our lives. Any little thing can be a wink from Hashem, reminding us that He is with us. If something goes well for you today or just makes you happy, try and stop for a moment and think about the fact that this was a gift from Hashem.

learn to cope Begin to Converse

SLIDE 6

1) When you hear good news, what bracha do you make? What about bad news? Why don’t we make the same bracha? 2) Who will lead the bentching when Mashiach comes? Why? 3) Are you allowed to cry when sad things happen? Why? 4) How many times a day should you daven? 5) What was Aharon’s reward for accepting his sons’ deaths?

Challenge Yourself!