For the attention of the Directors – Messers Jarrod Miller and Neil Aitken 2014
This AGM reviews 2014 using the slide template made available on the new ‘theagm.com’ website
Jarrod and Neil are two blokes who like to do stupid stuff , drink rum, sit on a boat and laugh their asses off.
Executive Summary 2014 was a huge year ! • Sal said she’d marry me ! • Ian managed to get us all on Hurrica V – a $2.5 m yacht to race Hamilton Island Race week – definitely a highlight ! • My web company – WhatPhone.com.au – started making enough money to sustain me – and we One of the things I love most about Sal is have plans to grow it overseas. she’s not materialistic • I managed to achieve something I set out to do years ago and sail the boat up the coast, making friends on the way • However, I did beach the boat on the way up • And Sal and Jarrod came to visit • Dumb-assery reached record levels, especially Jarrod’s birthday but also, realistically, year round. • We have maintained our traditions and possibly started a new one. If only we’d had fun last year.
Apologies for Absence • Free university education in Australia will be absent from 2014 onwards if the liberals get their way. • Chart – left – shows a reduction in inflation adjusted spending on universities and a clear reduction is evident. • Source • Jacquie Lambie will be absent from the PUP from now on after a stouch late this year. • She said some shocking things about the Burka. • See next slide.
Apologies for Absence • Burqas were banned : From the Australian parliament for around 24 hours in Oct 2014 . • Source • News story on left : This prompted some ‘intelligent’ debate including someone dressed as a member of the KKK which I found memorable.
January 2014 • Jarrod is a Vodafone customer Coverage vs Whinging ( 2013 ) • In January 2014, research revealed Vodafone had the best network 120% coverage in Sydney 100% • This was not reflected in the whinging 80% about the quality of the network that 60% Jarrod has undertaken. 40% • Chart left, shows no correlation 20% between Jarrod’s whinging and 0% network quality measured in objective terms. Vodafone's coverage ( Sydney ) Jarrod's whinging about the Vodafone network Thu 30 th Jan at the state theatre, we saw Jimmy Carr which was awesome
January 2014 In other news January 2014 Sal’s birthday week – Sat 25 th to Fri 30 th • • Boat varnishing started. 31 st – Neil got screwed by his old company • • Right – we made pirate party cards and a pirate video to encourage attendance. • Initial production of cards spiked stupidity index – Jarrod got the URL wrong ;) • Distribution of cards and torches was rubbish. Note – this one has the right URL Above: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qvo8uPYayI
February 2014 Moles • In March, we discussed a number of things at the pub. • Critical among them was the question of how a town of moles would be populated. Scurry Moleder Molester • Neil produced the resulting list on Fiverr.com • UFO investigation would be performed by Moleder and Scurry • Caught terrorist mole would be called Guantanimole • Etc Guacamole Molecoddle Guantanimole
March 2014 • We also went to the Burlesque show at The Steyne, Manly • The video was posted and has a couple of hundred hits now, mostly Jarrod showing people me looking like a doughnut on his phone. • Jarrod was 7balled at pool and didn’t do the run – he was heavily Trolled on FB
March 2014 • With impending departure from Virgin Mobile, Neil turned his brain off and watched up to 3 Jeremy Kyles a day on You Tube. • We found time for Burlesque and Yo Mama.
March 2014 • We went clay pigeon shooting with some of Jarrod’s mates - the chick was pretty cool. • And I started a website for ‘The Bilge Rat alarm’ which then died because I couldn’t get the prototype built. Also the design, left, was *hit.
April 2014 • Anzac Day tradition of going to the Woolie for Two Up maintained for 4 th year in a row. • Improvement this year with Rikard and his crazy brother coming. • Jarrod won again on the betting • Challenge for next year is – will Neil be overseas on the 25 th April ?
May 2014 WhatPhone started marking a small amount of money $1,600.00 400 $1,400.00 350 $1,200.00 300 $1,000.00 250 $800.00 200 Series2 $600.00 150 Series1 $400.00 100 $200.00 50 $0.00 0 May-13 Jun-13 Jul-13 Aug-13 Sep-13 Oct-13 Nov-13 Dec-13 Jan-14 Feb-14 Mar-14 Apr-14 • The Ratty team ( the boat Neil crews on ) won ‘The Club Champs’ when sailing. • Neil also spent a lot of April ebaying stuff to clear space for his trip. • Neil slept the night on Sloop up in Pittwater and anchored off Shelly to practice using the anchor and cooking on the boat.
June 2014 • June highlight – while Neil got the boat ready, he sent everyone ‘good vibes’ and we went to the Kraken Rum launch party
July 2014 July 2014 – Sailing to the Whitsundays • Highlights : Setting sail with Ian, • Passing Hooters in QLD ( closed ) • Catching up with Koos and Casey • And, of course, the sailing !
August 2014 • Hamilton Island Race Week. • Huge highlight for Neil on Hurrica V. • Ian Dennewald sorted it out. • We won Le prix D ’elegance too ! • This is a must return for 2015.
September 2014 After Hammo – the trip North continued • We saw some beautiful stuff – like this full moon while at anchor. • Stopped to prank Hamish and Andy on ‘The People’s Island’ ( Ignored on their return. ) • ‘Showered’ in the sea after long days of sailing until we got to where the stingers were. • Popped the champagne when we got to the Southern most Island in the Whitsundays.
September 2014 Jarrod’s birthday : Never before seen levels of dumb assery • Sabering a bottle of champagne is the height of idiocy. We did 6. • Field archery with beer • Picture of Cards against humanity the year ? • Nice bacon
October 2014 – Beaching the boat ‘Pancake Gate’ • As a result of me eating pancakes when I should have been navigating, I slammed Sloop on to the sand and had to wait for the tide to turn. Exhibit A • Idiocy.
October 2014 – Jarrod visit mid Oct That’s a paddlin ’ Jarrod’s visit : • Jarrod was in town for about a week – just long enough to walk to the boat and back. • We had long island ice teas on Long Island. Brilliant.
The Best Birthday Message This year
October 2014 – Sal’s visit Sal’s trip to see me Oct ‘14 ! • Included luxury on Hayman Island – including an unplanned Helicopter flight ! • Then we went sailing for a few days & I popped the question !
November 2014 The Trip Back from The Whitsundays • Highlights included goat stew on Percy Island : A big deal for sailors - it’s mentioned in all the books. • News of Jarrod behaving sensibly travelled with us as can be seen from the Melbourne cup picture :
December 2014 The Trip back to Sydney in Sloop - 2 • Special mention for the incredible “Crewman Nick” ( a captain in his own right ) who did the trip with me ( almost ) all the way North and South. • Nick had his birthday and we got him personalized T-Shirts. • Highlights of the trip South included a trip around The Bundaberg factory when landlocked by thunderstorms. • Sailing through Thunderstorms on the way back – not an advised activity but very beautiful. • Crew reviews, expressed through the medium of hat, harsh but fair.
December 2014 • Now back in Sydney / Manly preparing for the wedding
December 2014 Possible new tradition : • Manly Santa party – 2000 people on a pub crawl around manly dressed as Santa. • We made the paper ( albeit The Manly Daily ) dressed as ‘Pimp Santas .’ • This might be good enough to become an annual tradition.
Boxing Day • The Sydney to Hobart on Ian’s boat : A great way to spend Boxing Day & bookend the year
Plan for next year Jarrod - A goal for the year ahead ? • Obviously my goals include getting married And business growth as discussed regularly. • The plan is to get going for a USA launch in around April / May 2014. • At some point it would be good to work through this list of stuff to do in the USA – perhaps when I am over there for work.
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