INFLUENTIAL COMMUNICATION How to increase your influence by asking - - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

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INFLUENTIAL COMMUNICATION How to increase your influence by asking - - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

Jul 11, 2023 112 likes •910 views

INFLUENTIAL COMMUNICATION How to increase your influence by asking better questions and listening well. For this workshop: Make sure you have a blank sheet of paper and a pen. Roi Ben-Yehuda What is influence? How would you define it?

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INFLUENTIAL COMMUNICATION

How to increase your influence by asking better questions and listening well.

Roi Ben-Yehuda For this workshop: Make sure you have a blank sheet of paper and a pen.

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What is influence?

How would you define it?

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Studying the legends

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Studying the legends

Key differentiator: Quantity and quality

  • f questions they ask
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Question quantity

per 15 min

average folks

per 15 min

top motivators

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Question quantity

per 15 min

average folks

per 15 min

top motivators

2

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Question quantity

per 15 min

average folks

per 15 min

top motivators

2 10

Mission: ask one more question than normal!

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You propose an idea and the reply is…

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You propose an idea and the reply is…

Sorry it’s just not a good

  • time. It’s not top priority.
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You propose an idea and the reply is…

Sorry it’s just not a good

  • time. It’s not top priority.

What questions can you ask?

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Agility: ability to pivot into different questions

DIRECTIONS:

Question agility

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TODAY’S TOPICS

Get to curious Ask 4 key questions Pick a focus!

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Get to curious

How?

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  • 1. 20 Questions Technique

Pair up with a partner:

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  • 1. 20 Questions Technique

Pair up with a partner: Write at least 20 questions about ______.

  • One person is scribe.
  • Both people generate

ideas.

  • 2 minutes.
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Key point:

  • Best Qs are usually

not first Qs.

  • Ideate in questions.
  • 1. 20 Questions Technique
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It works for anything! On your own: 1 minute of questions about your manager.

  • 1. 20 Questions Technique
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It works for anything! On your own: 1 minute of questions about your manager. Circle the one you find most interesting.

  • 1. 20 Questions Technique
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  • Make questions

mode your default mode

  • Cultivate curiosity
  • Think in questions

Life lesson

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  • Make questions

mode your default mode

  • Cultivate curiosity
  • Think in questions

Life lesson

But which questions matter most?

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1 2 3

TODAY’S TOPICS

Get curious Ask 4 key questions Pick a focus

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1 2 3

TODAY’S TOPICS

Get curious Ask 4 key questions Pick a focus

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The big 4

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  • 1. Playbacks/ Split-tracks
  • 2. Blur
  • 3. Scale
  • 4. Share the reasoning

The big 4

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  • 1. Playbacks/ Split-tracks
  • 2. Blur
  • 3. Scale
  • 4. Share the reasoning

The big 4

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  • 1. Playbacks

“Just to make sure I got it right, you said ____. Did I get that right?”

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  • 1. Playbacks

Split-tracking

“Okay, I hear a few things: X and Y. Which one should we focus on first?”

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  • 1. Playbacks

Split-tracking

“Okay, I hear a few things: X and Y. Which one should we focus on first?”

Yes, either I or Jen will get it done. There are a few things I’m still confused about regarding what you need, but I think I can manage it by Friday if my meetings don’t get rescheduled.

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  • 1. Playbacks

Person 1: What’s been on your mind? Person 2: Listen, then split-track

Split-tracking

“Okay, I hear a few things: X and Y. Is that right?”

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How does it earn influence?

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How does it earn influence?

  • Rapport: person feels heard
  • Alignment: make sure you are talking about

the same thing.

  • Structure: help people think and speak clearer
  • Speed: go slow to go fast
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  • 1. Playbacks/Split-tracks
  • 2. Blur
  • 3. Scale
  • 4. Share the reasoning

The big 4

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  • 1. Playbacks/Split-tracks
  • 2. Blur
  • 3. Scale
  • 4. Share the reasoning

The big 4

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I will email you the file ASAP.

  • 2. Blur words
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  • 2. Blur words

I will email you the file ASAP.

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  • 2. Blur words

What does ______ mean to you?

I will email you the file ASAP.

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Directions: Get ready to mentally underline as I share my goal with you. My goal is…

  • 2. Blur words

What does ______ mean to you?

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I want to become a more playful facilitator.

  • 2. Blur words

What does ______ mean to you?

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EXERCISE:

  • Person 1: What’s something that’s really important to you

at the moment?

  • Person 2: Playback + what does ___ mean to you? What

does ___ mean to you? etc., Pivot…

  • 2. Blur words
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I liked your proposal. Good job.

  • 2. Blur words
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I liked your proposal. Good job. It’s well-

  • rganized.
  • 2. Blur words
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I liked your proposal. Good job. It’s well-

  • rganized. There were headers and bullets.
  • 2. Blur words
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I liked your proposal. Good job. It’s well-

  • rganized. There were headers and bullets.

I like how you handled that situation with the Jane.

  • 2. Blur words
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I liked your proposal. Good job. It’s well-

  • rganized. There were headers and bullets.

I like how you handled that situation with the

  • Jane. You were tactful.
  • 2. Blur words
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I liked your proposal. Good job. It’s well-

  • rganized. There were headers and bullets.

I like how you handled that situation with the

  • Jane. You were tactful. You addressed her

concerns before discussing your own.

  • 2. Blur words
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How does it earn influence?

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How does it earn influence?

  • Credibility: create structure & clarity
  • Problem solving: identify the real issue
  • Speed: get to the point faster
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  • 1. Playbacks/Split-tracks
  • 2. Blur
  • 3. Scale
  • 4. Share the reasoning

The big 4

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  • 1. Playbacks/Split-tracks
  • 2. Blur
  • 3. Scale
  • 4. Share the reasoning

The big 4

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‘I’m not really digging your idea.’

  • 3. Scaling questions
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  • On a scale from 1-10, where does

it fall?

‘I’m not really digging your idea.’

  • 3. Scaling questions
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  • On a scale from 1-10, where does

it fall?

  • What would it take to move it from

6 to a 7?

‘I’m not really digging your idea.’

  • 3. Scaling questions
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Here’s my idea…

Scale: On a scale from 1-10… What would it take to move it 1 point?

Sorry it’s just not a good

  • time. It’s not top priority.
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Here’s my idea…

Scale: What would make this 10% better?

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How does it earn influence?

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How does it earn influence?

  • Buy-in: Unlock and get folks to co-create

solution(s) with you.

  • Progress: create shared vocabulary around

progress.

  • Credibility: increase perceived competence

by demonstrating improvement.

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  • 1. Playbacks/Split-tracks
  • 2. Blur
  • 3. Scale
  • 4. Share the reasoning

The big 4

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  • 1. Playbacks/Split-tracks
  • 2. Blur
  • 3. Scale
  • 4. Share the reasoning

The big 4

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  • 4. Reasoning questions
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  • 4. Reasoning questions
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Ask questions to understand the logic behind their thinking.

  • 4. Reasoning questions
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Ask questions to understand the logic behind their thinking.

  • Can you walk me through

your thinking on that?

  • What led you to that thought?
  • What is important to you

about that?

  • 4. Reasoning questions
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Think about someone who made a decision you don’t agree with….

  • 4. Reasoning questions
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Think about someone who made a decision you don’t agree with…. What might their reasoning have been?

  • 4. Reasoning questions
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Think about someone who made a decision you don’t agree with…. What might their reasoning have been?

Goal = zoom out! Examining the reasoning helps you create an innoculation statement

  • 4. Reasoning questions
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Examining the reasoning helps you avoid the backfire effect.

  • 4. Reasoning questions
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How does it earn influence?

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How does it earn influence?

  • Conflict resolution: find common ground and

propose ideas that benefit all parties

  • Reciprocity: get them to ask (and want to

hear) about your reasoning

  • Persuasion: learn what matters to them so

that you can appeal to their interests

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  • 1. Playbacks/Split-tracks
  • 2. Blur
  • 3. Scale
  • 4. Share the reasoning

The big 4

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  • 1. Playbacks/Split-tracks
  • 2. Blur
  • 3. Scale
  • 4. Share the reasoning
  • 5. What Q would you add?

The big 4

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Let’s put it together

Playback/Split-track Blur Scale Reasoning Need-Forwards Next Step So, xyz? What does ___ mean to you? So you need/want.. How might we.. On a scale from… …Move it 1 point? Can you walk me through you thinking... What is the next (smallest) step?

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1 2 3

TODAY’S TOPICS

Get curious Ask 4 key questions Pick a focus

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1 2 3

TODAY’S TOPICS

Get curious Ask 4 key questions Pick a focus

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THIS WEEK

Q-step: ask one more question than usual (can be your snowball question) Do playbacks + split-tracks

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Summary

Grab your phone or computer Type http://bit.ly/influential_q Email: roi@lifelabslearning.com

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Thanks!

QUESTIONS? LeeAnn@LifeLabsLearning.com

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Thanks!

QUESTIONS? Hello@LifeLabsLearning.com