Homewood School Managing Moods, Anxiety & Stress including - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

Homewood School Managing Moods, Anxiety & Stress including Exam Stress Practical Tips for Parents & Staff Jenny Langley cwmt.org.uk

“Believing in your kids and staying www.cwmt.org.uk | email: admin@cwmt.org positive whatever they might say or do” cwmt.org.uk

The Charlie Waller Memorial Trust aims to: equip young people to look after their mental well being • help people to recognise the signs of depression/anxiety • in themselves and others so they know when to seek help ensure expert and evidence based help is available • when people need it. In this session we will focus on Motivational Interviewing Techniques and Emotion Focused Techniques cwmt.org.uk

My Interest in Emotional Wellbeing in our Youngsters : • My eldest son had anorexia age 12 • www.boyanorexia.com Education in Schools • Education for Carers • Support for Carers •

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www.cwmt.org.uk | email: admin@cwmt.org What Causes Our Kids to Play Up? Going to Puberty Exams University Friendship Genetics issues including Choosing a body career confidence Parental expectations Perfectionism 6 cwmt.org.uk

www.cwmt.org.uk | email: admin@cwmt.org What Causes Our Kids to Play Up? You don’t care about my feelings You just don’t get it You are not listening to me 7 cwmt.org.uk

www.cwmt.org.uk | email: admin@cwmt.org Exam Stress cwmt.org.uk

www.cwmt.org.uk | email: admin@cwmt.org Expectati Exam Stress ons of Regula Parents, r Tests School & Revisio ME n Sched Public ule Scary Exams Hall Multipl e Subjec Result Exam ts s Day Debrief cwmt.org.uk

Warning Signs Look out for prolonged or extreme cases of the following if you feel the work's piling up • Loss of interest in • Difficulty getting to sleep activities or difficulty waking up in • Increased anxiety and the morning • Constant tiredness irritability • Increased heart rate • Forgetfulness • Migraines/headaches • Unexplained aches and • Blurred vision pains • Poor appetite • Dizziness

Anxiety Warning Signs Reassurance seeking Social Isolation Unexplained aches & pains Perfect i onism/ Body Image Issues Personal Hygiene procrastination cwmt.org.uk

Feeding the Teenage Brain Tip No 2: Tip No 1: Unconditional Nutrition Love & Empathy cwmt.org.uk

Feeding the brain • The human brain weighs around 3 lbs • It needs 500 calories a day • Plus a teaspoon of “good” oil • The teenage brain is still developing fast • If damaged it can repair itself

Some interesting Facts around Food and the Teenage Brain – Harry’s Story • Zinc deficiency • Magnesium deficiency • Omega 3 deficiency • Serotonin deficiency • Serotonin and dopamine are closely linked cwmt.org.uk

www.cwmt.org.uk | email: admin@cwmt.org Food tastes like cardboard cwmt.org.uk

www.cwmt.org.uk | email: admin@cwmt.org You feel terrible cwmt.org.uk

www.cwmt.org.uk | email: admin@cwmt.org You look terrible cwmt.org.uk

www.cwmt.org.uk | email: admin@cwmt.org You feel sad cwmt.org.uk

Luckily the Brain is Plastic and can rejuvenate itself! cwmt.org.uk

Tip No 2 - Exercises to build empathy • Red & Blue Balloon • Crap Day Exercise cwmt.org.uk

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K ZBTYViDPlQ cwmt.org.uk

Key Skill to develop Empathy - Focus on listening more LESS is MORE • Listen - “help me understand” • Empathy -“girls sometimes say really mean things and that can be so upsetting, let me give you a hug” • Support – “how can I help you?” • Share in non anxiety provoking activities – “ shall we take the dog for a walk?” Less talking & telling More listening and guiding cwmt.org.uk

The Developing Teenage Brain – some science Teenagers are programmed to make high risk decisions with poor judgement cwmt.org.uk

The Developing Teenage Brain – some science Tip No. 3 - Look for the emotion Peak Onset in Adolescence: Depression behind the Bipolar Schizophrenia Autistic Spectrum behaviour Tourette’s Addiction cwmt.org.uk

Tip No 3 : Noticing Emotions Can Really Help? 25 cwmt.org.uk

Noticing Emotions Can Really Help? • “Mummy I have a tummy ache and I am not going to school” • “It is Monday morning and you always have a tummy ache and you have to go to school” OR • “I am sorry you have a tummy ache, is everything ok, you seem sad” • How do you soothe someone who is sad? • HUG and … • “I often feel like that on a Monday morning too and it can really help to drink a nice cup of tea and eat some breakfast. • So by making the connection, soothing with a hug, showing some empathy the child is more likely to go to school cwmt.org.uk

Noticing Emotions Can Really Help? • “You are not listening to me and you don’t understand me and I hate you” exits slamming the door • What might the emotion be? • Anger • How do you soothe someone who is angry? • Give them some space • AND then try to listen to their point of view cwmt.org.uk

Anxiety and the Reassurance Trap An anxious/ stressed child is likely to constantly seek reassurance – “Have I got my homework right?” – “Have I spent enough time on this?” – “Have I practised enough?” – “Will I make friends at my next school? – “Will the extra time be enough?” – “Will I get good enough grades?” How do you respond? cwmt.org.uk

Tip No 4 - Sidestep t he Reassurance Trap Without reassurance, anxiety spikes briefly 12 before self-mastery Reassurance 10 Chronic 8 New coping strategies anxiety Anxiety allow anxiety to be dealt 6 Reassurance becomes with at lower level less effective 4 Normal 2 anxiety After self-mastery, anxiety falls to lower base-level 0 1 3 5 7 9 11 13 15 17 19 21 Time 23 25 27 29 31 33 35 37 39 41 43 45 47 cwmt.org.uk

Anxiety and the Reassurance Trap An anxious/ stressed child is likely to constantly seek reassurance – “Have I got my homework right?” – “Have I spent enough time on this?” – “Have I practised enough?” – “Will I make friends at my next school? – “Will the extra time be enough?” – “Will I get good enough grades?” – It is easy to fall in to the reassurance trap as a parent. – Over time this simply serves to fuel problems, worries, fears and anxieties and the relief is short lived. – Gently Challenging vs Reassurance. – Your child will learn to self soothe…………….. cwmt.org.uk

www.cwmt.org.uk | email: admin@cwmt.org How Does Change Come About? Aesop’s Fable : The Sun & the Wind… cwmt.org.uk

Footer goes in here Useful Phrases • “It is not helpful for me to keep reassuring you” • “You seem very anxious/ frightened. That often makes young people seek continuous reassurance about the same things over and over, but in the long term it is not helpful.” • “You know the answer to that, I believe you can do it.” • “If I keep reassuring you it will keep your anxiety flourishing” • “This high anxiety you are feeling right now will pass. It is like a wave. What could we do to help distract you from all these anxious thoughts? Would you like to go for a walk around the school grounds with me, do some drawing, write a poem ….. etc” 11/11/2011 32 cwmt.org.uk

Tip No 5 - Reflecting on Family Reactions to the Moods, Anxiety & Stress – the animal metaphors cwmt.org.uk

Carers quickly start to reflect on their own responses & behaviours cwmt.org.uk

Tip No 5 - Motivational Language • An effective method of keeping our communication lines open with our kids is OARS which can help keep the conversation reflective and mindful. • O pen questions: Skillful questioning style • A ffirmations: Praise to build confidence and motivation • R eflective listening: Skillful listening style • S ummarizing: Demonstrating you have understood • OARS helps you row the conversation in the direction you want it to go, rather than drifting along the usual current. • OARS helps to sow the seed of change into the mind of a child who is resistant to change cwmt.org.uk

“These are skills all parents should learn!” • OARS for the “you are not listening to me” • Open Question – “Help me understand” – “What does listening look like?” • Affirmation – “Thank you for telling me how you are feeling” – “You were brave to tell me that” – “I like it when you………” – “You are determined to …….” • Reflection – “So you feel angry at……” – “What you are telling me is……..” cwmt.org.uk

Using Motivational Language Person Open questions 1 centred • I am curious to know how I can help • Help me understand what you feel your options are • Perhaps I can make a few suggestions that have worked for other students Affirmations Boost self • You are so hard working, resourceful, thoughtful, creative, inspiring esteem Reflections • I can see you are struggling to start/ finish this • It must be tough for you trying to fit everything in 3 • I am listening You seem overwhelmed, exhausted, distressed and noticing Summaries - pulling the conversation together and planning the next chat your feelings cwmt.org.uk