Differentiated Communication in a guidance role Sue Blair The Plan - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

Celebrating Difference Differentiated Communication in a guidance role Sue Blair

The Plan • What is Temperament? • How does this affect our coaching? • How does this affect our clients? • What happens when things turn to custard? • How can we clean up the mess?

Everything that irritates us about others can lead to an understanding of ourselves? - Carl Jung

Stabiliser Improviser “Seize the day” “Day -to- day responsibility” Theorist Catalyst “Master the day” “Make the day worthwhile”

Temperament Why we do what we do? Improviser SP Stabiliser SJ Catalyst NF Theorist NT “Satisfying the needs of our temperament is continual. We do it every day, only to get up and do it again.” - Eve Delunas

Linda Berens ESSENTIAL MOTIVATORS What needs are so essential to existence that we will go to great lengths to get them met?

Different to the Type preferences • Doesn’t have an opposite • Differentiation not individuation • A long history with multiple contributors Hippocrates Paracelsus Spranger Adickes Kretschmer Keirsey & Bates Berens Nardi

Stabiliser Improviser “Seize the day” “Day -to- day responsibility” Theorist Catalyst “Master the day” “Make the day worthwhile”

Stabiliser Improviser “Day -to-day “Seize the day” responsibility” Needs: Needs: Freedom to take Be responsible, immediate action dutiful and and make an contribute to the impact team Catalyst Theorist “Make the day “Master the day” worthwhile” Needs: Needs: Demonstrate and Encourage be recognized for authentic expertise and personal growth competence. of self and others.

Stabilizer Strengths gths Pot otential tial Blind d Spots ots Understand process – how to May be stressed if the client create a structured coaching requires too much flexibility experience Past-focused – so ability to May be reluctant to encourage remember previous examples the client to try something new and ideas Realistic – so able to focus on May dismiss abstract ideas as what is achievable unrealistic Ability to set concrete goals May miss the big picture

Eve Delunas Psychotherapist

Stabiliser Improviser “Day -to-day “Seize the day” responsibility” Responsible Impressive to to Irresponsible Unimpressive Catalyst Theorist “Make the day “Master the day” worthwhile” Competence Authentic to to Incompetence Inauthentic

Under stress • Given enough stress anyone can play Survival Games • Only when they become destructive are they problematic • When our self-esteem, self-respect or self-confidence is under threat, we will subconsciously protect them • When our core needs are not met in any part of lives; home, work and socially, we are especially vulnerable to playing the Survival Games • They are anything but fun!!!

Complain loud and often about aches, pains and illnesses you have and are experiencing now. Complain about all the hardships of your life. 1

Talk about your worries and fears about bad things that might happen. Nag people in the group. 2

Talk about the illegal and risky things you do. Complain about being bored. 3

Say and do things that are outrageous and SHOCK other people in the group. 4

Talk about the sacrifices you have made and are willing to make for this group. Attempt to keep the peace and make everyone else happy. 5

Change the subject often. Don’t give a straight answer to any question. 6

Focus on small details and point out the imperfections in what you see and hear. 7

Criticise people’s ideas as illogical or stupid. Dismiss emotions as illogical or unimportant. 8

Stabiliser Responsible Exaggerates (All) to Irresponsible • Refuses to budge • Becomes a permanent fixture in a toxic place • Stays put, gets walked all over • Too many duties – poor me • Can’t stop ‘ shoulding ’ Depletes (Nothing) • Flat • Unable • Condemned to idleness

Improviser Impressive to Exaggerates (All) Unimpressive • Attention seeking • Outbursts • Shocks • Binges • Cons Depletes (Nothing) • Empty • Lifeless • Couch potato

Theorist Competence Exaggerates (All) to Incompetence • Questions everything! • Becomes illogical • Nitpicks and argues • Claims intellectual superiority • Haunted by thoughts Depletes (Nothing) • Blanks out • Knows nothing • Feels stupid

Catalyst Authentic Exaggerates (All) to • Becomes a mind reader Inauthentic • Attributes negative emotions • Martyrs themselves • Avoids the subject • Twitches and spasms Depletes (Nothing) • Stagnates • Unaware • Just forgets

Stabiliser Improviser “Day -to-day “Seize the day” responsibility” Impressive Responsible Unimpressive Irresponsible Catalyst Theorist “Make the day “Master the day” worthwhile” Competence Authentic Incompetence Inauthentic

Celebrating Difference Differentiated Communication in a guidance role Sue Blair