Beyond the plain language edit: going the extra mile March 11, 2013 Claire Foley and Tracy Torchetti
Agenda • Introduction • Punctuation • Grammar • Idioms • Examples • Conclusion and discussion
What is health literacy? From the Canadian Cancer Society glossary: “A person’s ability to find, understand, evaluate, use and communicate health-related information. For example, health literacy includes a healthcare professional’s ability to communicate health-related information, as well as a person’s ability to read nutrition labels, interpret prescriptions and follow self- care instructions.”
What is plain language? the art and science of writing clearly • clear organization and layout • reader-centred writing and design •
Plain language writing techniques Use the active voice. • Write directly to your reader. • Use a positive tone wherever possible. • Use short words and simple sentences. • Choose the right words. • Use lists. •
Plain language formatting and style Choose the right typeface. • Watch alignment. • Use lots of white space and short paragraphs. • Keep lines of text short. • Use meaningful titles, headings and subheadings. • Use emphasis sparingly (e.g., bold, all caps, italics, colour) •
Punctuation • apostrophes • dumb vs. smart quotes • commas • colons and semicolons • dashes and hyphens • other fussy marks
The panda eats shoots and leaves.
The panda eats, shoots and leaves.
Apostrophes
Apostrophes Contractions • it’s • don’t • can’t Possession • a day’s income • John’s test • the patient’s need
Possessive apostrophes Plural noun ending in “ s ” • parents’ lives • doctors’ offices • patients’ needs Plural noun not ending in “ s ” • women’s room • people’s needs • children’s ward
Possessive apostrophes Singular noun ending in “ s ” • Chris’s test • Charles’s test • Mr Rogers’ neighbourhood
Don’t use the apostrophe. Ordinary plurals • no drugs allowed (not drug’s or drugs’) Plurals of acronyms and numbers • PFDs • PSAs • 1990s Possessive pronouns • its • ours • hers
Dumb vs. smart quotes
Commas
Commas The most common comma errors are: serial commas • adjectival commas • commas with (non)restrictive clauses • commas with independent clauses • commas after introductory word groups •
Colons
Semicolons
Colons There are 3 types of UV rays: ultraviolet A, ultraviolet B and ultraviolet C. Good There are 3 types of UV rays — ultraviolet A, ultraviolet B and ultraviolet C. Better There are 3 types of UV rays: ultraviolet A • ultraviolet B • ultraviolet C •
Colons Pesticides are a group of chemicals that include: insecticides • herbicides • fungicides • But Pesticides are a group of chemicals that include insecticides, herbicides and fungicides.
Semicolons Cold symptoms last for a few days; flu symptoms can last for days or weeks. Cold symptoms last for a few days. Flu symptoms can last for days or weeks.
Semicolons Dioxins can be produced naturally; however, there is no evidence that plastic bottles contain dioxins. Dioxins can be produced naturally. However, there is no evidence that plastic bottles contain dioxins.
Dashes and hyphens
Dashes and hyphens
Dashes and hyphens
Hyphens Connect words and large numbers expressed as words. • best-known treatment • twenty-seven times Follow prefixes in new words. • non-stick cookware • pre-trip checklist Line breaks Write your name exact- ly as it appears on your health card.
Hyphens Hyphenate compound modifier before but not after the noun. • Energy at low cost is low-cost energy. Hyphenate compound modifier if meaning is affected. • A hot-water bottle is a bottle for holding hot water. • A hot water bottle is a water bottle that is hot. Hyphenate a word for clarity. • You need to re-press those jeans. • You need to repress those bad memories.
En dash For number ranges (in place of the word “to”) • 7 a.m. – 7 p.m. • 5 – 10 servings of vegetables and fruit • 1999 – 2013 • January – March Instead of a hyphen with open compounds • non – small cell lung cancer • Canada – United States relations
Em dash I pay the bills — she has to have the surgery. A semicolon would be used here in formal writing. I need three items at the store — dog food, vegetarian chili, and cheddar cheese. A colon would be used here in formal writing. Please call the nurse — Jane Jones — about your test. Parentheses or commas would work instead of dashes. I wish you would — oh, never mind. Em dash is required for an abrupt change in thought.
Other fussy marks asterisks (*) • ellipses (…) • punctuation in bulleted lists • parentheses •
Remove punctuation from bulleted lists. Before Offer lots of high fibre foods, including: • breads, cereals, pastas and rice made from whole grains; • fruit, especially berries, dried fruit and citrus fruit; and • vegetables, especially broccoli, carrots, corn and leafy greens. After Offer lots of high fibre foods, including: • breads, cereals, pastas and rice made from whole grains • fruit, especially berries, dried fruit and citrus fruit • vegetables, especially broccoli, carrots, corn and leafy greens
Be careful with parentheses. Before You need to take a different drug for your diabetes (starting Monday). After You need to take a different drug for your diabetes. You start the new drug on Monday.
Grammar • verb tenses • contractions • adverb placement
Verb tenses
Verb tenses Use more common verb tenses. Simple present tense You have diabetes. Present continuous Are you taking medication? Simple future You will go to the hospital tomorrow. You are going to the hospital tomorrow. Simple past Did you take some medication yesterday?
Verb tenses The present works for both present and future situations. For example: I take my medication at noon today. I take my new medication tomorrow. Instead of: When you go to the hospital, the doctor will take your blood and will do other tests. Use: When you go to the hospital, the doctor takes your blood and does other tests.
Verb tenses Using the present instead of present continuous Instead of: I am taking medication for my heart. Use: I take medication for my heart every day.
Verb tenses Using will or be going to for the future Example: I am going to have my procedure at the hospital next week. I will have my procedure at the hospital next week. (I have my procedure at the hospital next week.) Using regular and irregular verbs in the past Example: I talked to the doctor yesterday. I spoke to the doctor yesterday.
Contractions
Contractions Some contractions are easier than others. Easier examples: I’m, can’t, don’t, you’re, who’s, what’s, where’s Harder examples: could’ve, will’ve, shouldn’t, isn’t, aren’t, weren’t, doesn’t, didn’t
Adverb placement What’s the difference? • He swallowed the pill carefully . • He carefully swallowed the pill. • Carefully he swallowed the pill.
Adverb placement Misplacing modifiers can change the meaning. • Only the surgeon could finish the operation. • The surgeon could only finish the operation. • The surgeon could finish only the operation.
Adverb placement Instead of: Talking to patients clearly helps medication adherence. Use: Talking to your patients will clearly help them continue to take their medication. or A clear discussion with your patients helps them continue taking their medication.
The ESL perspective
The ESL perspective • idioms • phrasal verbs • numbers
Idioms
Idioms • Are you feeling under the weather? • You seem on the ball. • This will cost an arm and a leg. • Let’s get the ball rolling! • Keep an eye out for these symptoms.
Phrasal verbs
Phrasal verbs A phrasal verb is a verb followed by a preposition or an adverb; the combination creates a meaning different from the original verb. Examples: take over put off work out call off check out cut out cut down on end up figure out go on get over give up go through jot down crop up pass away rule out turn down
Numbers
Numbers Use digits rather than spelling out numbers. Eighteen vs. 18 • Spell out units of measure or define them at first mention. 15 min. • 1000 IU •
Numbers Avoid tricky constructions with dates. Back x-rays will no longer be covered by OHIP after • 09/10/12. Remember that percentages don’t always resonate. 12% of people have side effects. • 12 in every 100 people have side effects. •
Numbers
Numbers Avoid fractions. 3/8 of your normal dose. • 5-1/4 or 5¼ • But… 5,000 vs. 5.000 vs. 5 000 •
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