A spoonful of sugar: Harnessing language to achieve your goals - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

A spoonful of sugar: Harnessing language to achieve your goals Ceri Newton-Sargunar @HotCupOfTeaPls.

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Shift no. 1: Goal framing Shift no. 2: Side-stepping our monkey minds Shift no. 3: Re-directing self-sabotage

@HotCupOfTeaPls How you How you think about plan to your goals achieve them and Affects your chance of success

Shift no. 1: Goal framing

“Be Good” “Get Better”

“Be Good” Focus: ability Proof: (perfect) performance Performance tied to sense “Get Better” of self worth Focus: growth Proof: mastery No link between performance and self worth @HotCupOfTeaPls

Goal: Happiness

@HotCupOfTeaPls The more highly you value happiness as a goal, the more depressed and unhappy you may feel

@HotCupOfTeaPls

Expectancy Value Theory “Be Good” Unexpected challenge / obstacle + Lower expectations of success = Less likely to attempt a task

Expectancy Value Theory “Get Better” Unexpected challenge / obstacle + Lower expectations of success = Less impact on motivation @HotCupOfTeaPls

Core Values Why are you here? Why are you doing this? What do you like about what you do? What is important to you (at work)? What would you improve? @HotCupOfTeaPls

Improved: Motivation Decision-making “Daily - for one Creativity minute, each hour” Energy Focus Awareness Relationships Confidence @HotCupOfTeaPls

@HotCupOfTeaPls

IDEALS: OUGHTS: I really want to be I should probably more… be more… (I want recognition, (I owe it to praise) people…) @HotCupOfTeaPls @HotCupOfTeaPls

“I want recognition for my hard work!” @HotCupOfTeaPls

“I ought to, I owe it to people” @HotCupOfTeaPls

Creative, abstract Motivated by thinkers positive feedback Focus on De-motivated by achievement, gains risk of failure or and recognition negative feedback @HotCupOfTeaPls

Motivation decreases Focus on fulfilling with safety. responsibility, and avoiding mistakes, failure or loss. Seeking safety, vigilant against negative feedback . @HotCupOfTeaPls

Shift no. 2: Side-stepping our Monkey Minds

Neurological Stress makes Language perception Language and Self control mechanisms your body (ie criticism, attack) tonal output is reduces are impaired release cortisol affected is affected @HotCupOfTeaPls

As if by magic…

As a site visitor, I can read current news on the home page so that I stay current on agile news.

As a site visitor, I want to be able to read current news on the home page so I will be able to stay current on agile news.

As a site visitor, I want to be able to read current news on the home page so I will be able to stay current on agile news. If I am not able to read current news on the home page I won’t be able to stay current on agile news. @HotCupOfTeaPls

@HotCupOfTeaPls

Language production Stress makes your body Neurological mechanisms Self control reduces (ie control of critical release cortisol are impaired inner voice) is affected Language perception (ie criticism, attack) is affected Judgement is impaired We become more judgemental @HotCupOfTeaPls

Existing habits are exaggerated

“Rational” thought 1. How is the first object 2. How did the better than second object the second? cause suffering in the world? @HotCupOfTeaPls

“Rational” thought The very nature of thought allows anything to be mentally related, in any way. @HotCupOfTeaPls

I do, This is a part of who I am, it forms Us, we, We are united. We are in this my identity. There is a clear… I don’t ours together. We are part of… I should, I am obligated to do this. There is I have to I am obligated to do this. If I had a I shouldn’t disparity between what I say… choice, I would not choose… Sorry I am in the wrong. I am flawed. I I, me, mine I am alone, isolated. We are am weak. I am less than you… You, yours separate. We are not alike… I get to I am fortunate to be able to do this. If I had a choice, I would choose… No This is no good. It has to change. I am not happy, I do not like this… This is good, it has potential to be Yes, and… great. I am happy and content… Thank-you I am strong. I appreciate your input. You have value to me… @HotCupOfTeaPls

This is good, it has potential to be This is no good. It has to change. I No Yes, and… great. I am happy and content… am not happy, I do not like this… I am obligated to do this. There is I should, I do, This is a part of who I am, it forms disparity between what I say… I shouldn’t I don’t my identity. There is a clear… I am strong. I appreciate your Sorry Thank-you I am in the wrong. I am flawed. I input. You have value to me… am weak. I am less than you… I am obligated to do this. If I had a I have to I get to I am fortunate to be able to do this. choice, I would not choose… If I had a choice, I would choose… I am alone, isolated. We are I, me, mine Us, we, We are united. We are in this separate. We are not alike… You, yours ours together. We are part of… @HotCupOfTeaPls

Yes, and… I do, I don’t Thank-you I get to Us, we, ours @HotCupOfTeaPls

“I should” “I do” “I shouldn’t” “I do not” @HotCupOfTeaPls

Do, or do not

Shift no. 3: Re-directing self- sabotage

Neural resonance, Emotional contagion, And your Critical Inner Voice @HotCupOfTeaPls

Language production Stress makes your body Neurological mechanisms Self control reduces (ie control of critical release cortisol are impaired inner voice) is affected Language perception (ie criticism, attack) is affected Judgement is impaired We become more judgemental @HotCupOfTeaPls

Critical Inner Voice (AKA Inner Critic, Self Doubt)

“You can’t do this” “You’ll never be successful” “You’re not like other people” “You don’t know anything!” “You ALWAYS mess things up”

Mental Contrasting

@HotCupOfTeaPls “You can’t What’s stopping me? Why not? do this” What can I do instead? “You’ll never be What can I change? Why not? successful” How can I use “You’re not like In what ways? that? other people” What do I need to “You don’t know Says who? learn more about? anything!” “You ALWAYS What, every single How can I mess things time? When did I change that? up” NOT do that?

If - Then @HotCupOfTeaPls If… (event), then… (behaviour) The act of planning where and when creates a link between The The behaviour and situation that needs to or cue follow

@HotCupOfTeaPls How will you Identify What would a overcome this Identify a likely something you'd happy outcome obstacle? obstacle to like to achieve, look like? Identify achieving this that fits with your at least one “If... (event) then... goal. values. positive aspect. (new behaviour)” (as if…)

Language production Stress makes your body Neurological mechanisms Self control reduces (ie control of critical release cortisol are impaired inner voice) is affected Language perception (ie criticism, attack) is affected Judgement is impaired We become more judgemental @HotCupOfTeaPls

Existing habits are exaggerated

Shift no. 1: Goal framing Shift no. 2: Side-stepping our monkey minds Shift no. 3: Re-directing self-sabotage

Thanks! @HotCupOfTeaPls

We can’t control the sea but we can learn to surf the waves @HotCupOfTeaPls