3/12/2019 • Grab a post card from the far side of KAYLEE KRON, LMSW GC-C the training room that represents your hope or expectation for today’s training event • Introduce yourself and share why you KIDS IN GRIEF • Bereavement Coordinator at Hospice of North Idaho chose the card you did once your table • Certified Grief Counselor TABLE ACTIVITY has filled with fellow attendees • Camp Kaniksu Director • Please leave the card on the table once you are done, as these cards are often used for grief counseling and support groups Presented by Kaylee Kron LMSW, GC-C 1
3/12/2019 • Define Grief OUR PHILOSOPHY ON KIDS IN GRIEF • Establish a knowledge base regarding the needs of grieving youth • Identify typical grief responses by a child’s developmental age • Differentiate a typical grief response from a complicated WHAT IS GRIEF? grief response or traumatic grief response LEARNING • Examine the correlation between grief and the ACE 1 2 3 4 5 6 OBJECTIVES Study • Dispel myths of grief in youth Anyone who is old Grief is a normal, Within each of us A supportive and Children and teens Children and teens • Identify commonly used theories of the grief process enough to love natural response is an innate caring environment will only express learn what grief An internal reaction to a loss is old enough to to the death of a capacity to heal can facilitate the their grief when looks like from the • Discuss typical needs of children and teens in grief grieve loved one healing process they feel safe important adults in to do so their lives • Discuss grief support in the schools 2
3/12/2019 GRIEF We define grief as the internal reaction to an event that has occurred / ɡ R Ē F/ or something that has been taken from you without your permission. “Grieving allows us to heal, • By our terms, grief is not isolated to the death of someone close to you. It is a to remember with h love rather than pain. much broader experience that occurs in our lives, often without us even realizing it It is a sortin ing process. • Deep sorrow, especially that • Common losses for youth include: One by one, you let go of the things OUR caused by someone’s death. • Death of a family member that are gone. DEFINITION • “She was overcome with grief” You mourn for them. • Divorce of parents Synonyms: sorrow, misery, OF GRIEF • One by one, you take hold of the things • Moving (school or neighborhood) sadness, anguish, pain, distress, that have become a part of who you are • Illness (loss of health) agony, torment, suffering, heartache, heartbreak, broken-heartedness, and build again.” • Bullying (loss of safety / self esteem) desolation, despair, angst - Willia liam Worden • Loss of first love • Death of a classmate / friend 3
3/12/2019 CONSIDERATIONS DURING TODAY’S OTHER COMMONLY USED GRIEF TERMS TRAINING • Grab a strip of paper and a pen from the center of your table ANTICIPATORY GRIEF DISENFRANCHISED GRIEF • Write down your experience or understanding of • This term identifies feelings that surface once a • This term is identified as “grief that persons TABLE ACTIVITY grief using only 6 words to complete the sentence loved on has been diagnosed with a terminal experience when they incur a loss that is not or When we consider all losses While this training will often refer to grief illness and continues until the death of that loved cannot be openly acknowledged, socially through the grief lens, we are • When you are done, share with your table if you one. sanctioned, or mourned.” – Ken Doka through the lens of a loss through death, we feel comfortable better able to walk with clients, It defines grief related to what has been lost thus This grief may fall into one of the following • • want you to keep the concept of “non -death far: categories: families, and children with losses” in the back of your mind through out empathy rather than jumping • Loss of mobility 1. The loss doesn’t seem worthy of grief (non - the training. death losses) into problem solving. • Loss of plans for the future 2. The relationship is stigmatized Loss of a partner • 3. The mechanism of death is stigmatized • Loss of intimacy 4. The person grieving is not recognized as a • Loss of history griever 5. The manner in which someone is grieving is stigmatized 4
3/12/2019 • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YR9eokO8cFA • 1 in 5 youth will experience the death of a • Given at the 2015 TEDxLincoln event, Re:Think. Carly parent, grandparent, or sibling before the age of Woythaler-Runestadgives a thought-provoking talk on how, as a society, we need to “ Re:Think ” how children’s grief is 18 addressed and how to create a supportive environment which STATISTICS WHY ARE emphasizes the holistic needs of bereaved families. Carly • With suicide rates on the rise in our A deeper look into Woythaler-Runestadhas been the executive director of the FOR STATISTICS community, more and more children are the need d for good Mourning Hope Grief Center for over 7 years. Mourning Hope WE HERE grief f support for is a nonprofit, grief support network for children, teens, young GRIEVING effected by a suicide death within their school TODAY? adults and their families who have experienced the death of youth someone significant in their life. She has served on a number of YOUTH • In 2018, the suicide rate continued to diverse statewide boards and in 2014 was elected to the increase with Idaho ranking 8 th in the nation National Alliance for Grieving Children’s Board of Directors. Find more at www.TEDxLincoln.com This talk was given at a • 3 of the deaths were by someone under the TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at age of 18 http://ted.com/tedx 5
3/12/2019 GRIEF IN EARLY CHILDHOOD • It is important to be informed about grief responses by developmental age for the following reasons: GRIEF • Each developmental stage experiences, understands, and “Anyone who is old processes grief differently enough h to love RESPONSES BY • The needs at each stage vary due to the different grief GRIEF Presented d by experience RESPONSES BY is old enough h DEVELOPMENTAL DEVELOPMENTAL Breanna Ammari • What may work for one child, may not work for another, due to grieve.” AGE to their difference in development Develo lopmental l Specia ialis list -Dr. Alan Wolfe felt lt AGE • We can use this knowledge to meet the child where they are Infa fant Toddler Program at in their grief which creates an environment of safety and understanding 6
3/12/2019 Babies are too little to be affected by • "Children haven’t had the death many of the experiences life has to Children shouldn’t attend funerals or offer, nor are they memorials cognitively able to “ Young children have cognitive and emotional understand death as we YOUNG immaturities that involve limitations in attention do. Thus they grieve TRUTH OR Children can’t handle the truth of a CHILDREN’S span and in their capacity to endure stress, and without the same level MYTH? loved ones death of comprehension of EXPRESSIONS these limitations lead to their need for “time off” what is happening to from demanding psychological endeavors.” OF GRIEF them, for they have not Because a child is playing and very (Lieberman, 2003, p.10) had the experience of active he/she is not grieving anymore. the finality that accompanies someone’s death" (1992, p. 53). Children are resilient; they bounce back 7
3/12/2019 Definition: Attachment is a special emotional relationship that involves an exchange of comfort, care THE CHILD’S SENSE OF SELF “HIDDEN REGULATORS” and pleasure. According to Attachment Theory, young children need • Regulation of bodily rhythms • When a parent dies, the child loses the feeling of security generated by to form a strong attachment to at least one primary these reassuring interactions, which served as the “hidden regulators” caregiver who can provide the unconditional love and • Modulation of emotion ATTACHMENT for the child’s neurophysiological and psychological functioning through support that allows them to form and develop • Formation and socialization of interpersonal relationships the parent’s protective and caregiving interventions. necessary relationship skills as they grow older. • Learning from exploration of the environment • (Lieberman, 2003, p. 8) So what happens when a child loses one or both parents in childhood? 8
3/12/2019 RESILIENCY INFANCY • Myth: Infants are young enough to • Children aren’t born • Ask yourself,: not be affected by loss. resilient. BEHAVIOR IS • “What is my child’s behavior telling me?” • It is with continuous, COMMUNICATION • Truth: Babies don’t have an compassionate support with • “What can I say and do to support him/her?” understanding of death or the a trusted adult and age- language to say how they are appropriate environmental feeling, however they do feel support, can they show the sense of loss and potential for resilience. separation and pick up on the anxiety of those around them. 9
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