Welcome Personal Leadership: Transforming Limiting Beliefs and Patterns with THE WORK
BE PRESENT • Take a moment to arrive. • Find your breath • Land in your seat…..
The complex challenges we are facing call on us to lead collaboratively; to host and participate in meaningful dialogue and to co-create across our differences. How we show up makes a difference.
Agenda • Complex Challenges, Hosting, Personal Leadership and Limiting Beliefs • Introduction to The Work • Stepping in - Working with Fear exercise. • Questions, Applications, Resources. • Close
Principles • Everyone is here to learn and practice. • Share what you are comfortable sharing. • Respect confidentiality of other’s sharing • Note this session is being recorded. • Inquire with curiosity & self-compassion • Hosting self-inquiry (not advice or problem solving)
Complex Challenges: What is needed? • Meaningful dialogue - host and participate • Co-creative work • Different perspectives • Capacity for uncertainty, change, discomfort • Resilience • Grace How we show up matters
Self-Hosting/Personal Practice • Wellbeing and Personal Sustainability • Develop and Access Key Capacities • Responsibility - Power • System Change requires Thinking Change
Personal Leadership Practice Working with the complex system that is YOU • Increase our self-awareness • thinking, emotions & actions • Inquire into and shift limiting beliefs & patterns • Compassionate and rigorous. • Connected to participation and leadership
“LEADERSHIP” • How you show up to contribute. • Positional or from inside the system • Visible or less visible • Collaborative or directive
Leadership Reflection Exercise #1 Think of a person whose leadership you admire. Think of a specific, challenging situation where this person showed up with hosting/leadership that had a positive influence. • Picture the situation and person. • Remember what it felt like. • Observe that person, how they are showing up, what they are doing. Write down some of the qualities that you experienced / observed of that person.
Leadership Reflection Exercise #2 Think of a specific, challenging situation where YOU showed up with hosting/leadership that had a positive influence. • Picture the situation and people. • Remember what it felt like. • Observe yourself, how are you showing up, what you are doing? Write down some of the qualities that you experienced / observed in yourself.
Leadership Reflection Exercise #3 Think of a specific, challenging situation where YOU DID NOT show up with hosting/leadership that had a positive influence. • Picture the situation and people. • Remember what it felt like. • Observe yourself, how are you showing up, what you are doing? Write down some of the “ qualities” that you experienced / observed in yourself.
Valuable… but not enough… • Self Awareness • Knowledge and skills • Positive Intention How do we shift limiting patterns and create the conditions for emergent qualities we need for complex contexts?
Limiting Beliefs What we are thinking and believing (our assumptions and predictions) can LIMIT our ability to: • Step into and stay in meaningful dialogue and co-creation • Listen with genuine curiosity • Think creatively, see and hold different perspectives, • Learn, evolve • Speak with intention, clarity, courage, respect • Be aware of our impact • Let go of control • Use power in service • Practice Grace - self and others • Be present and well with discomfort, change, uncertainty •
The Work A simple and powerful tool for working directly with your limiting beliefs and patterns. • Open your mind to insights & perspectives • Shift underlying patterns that keep you stuck • Access your wisdom and resourcefulness • Cultivate a mindset that is more open& creative In writing or with a facilitator
The WORK has two parts: 1. Identify The beliefs that are limiting / causing stress. • Judgements, fears, assumptions, blame, should/ shouldn’t, attachment to outcome. 2. Inquire Using the 4 Questions and Turnarounds • Inquire. Reflect. Be deeply curious. • New insights, perspectives and possibilities.
Part 1 Identify Focus on a specific situation . Identify the thoughts and beliefs that cause stress, fear, disconnection, or keep you stuck. • Write them down (make a list) • Short simple sentences. • Do not censor or be ‘wise’ • Choose ONE belief to inquire.
Getting Un-Stuck: Working with Fear. • Think of a specific situation of something that feels important for you to do, and you are afraid to do it, avoiding it, stressed about it. • (Challenging conversation; stepping into leadership; collaborating with someone; taking an action, speaking up; letting go of control…) • Write it: I want to: __________________ - or - • It is important to me to: ___________
Getting Un-Stuck: Working with Fear Making your list • What are you afraid will happen if you do it? • Write all stressful thoughts: • If I ______ (the action) ___________ then:
Getting Un-Stuck: Working with Fear Choose ONE belief Write it as • If I ______ (the action) ___________ • then: ___________ (one belief) _________ • Caitlin example: If I collaborate with J, • then she will make me look bad.
Part 2 Inquire THE 4 Questions and Turnarounds of The WORK • Specific Situation and One belief at a time • Open your mind. Be curious. Contemplate. • Find your own answers Work with a facilitator or in writing
Part 2 INQUIRE - Blue Card The 4 Questions of The WORK Belief: _______________________________ 1. Is it true? Yes/No 2. Can you absolutely know that it is true? Yes/No 3. How do you react, when you believe that thought? • Emotions, sensations, images, actions, limitations 4. Who would you be without that thought? • What do you experience and notice?
Turn it around • Open your mind to what else is possible. • Find genuine examples for each turnaround. • Access multiple perspectives • PURPOSE is insight, learning & empowering self- responsibility • Not denial, self-blame, condoning. “One point of view is too small for the truth.” unknown
Turn it Around and find genuine, specific examples Belief: Opposite: _____________________ Examples: Other: ________________________ Examples : Self: __________________________
Turn it Around and find genuine, specific examples Belief: ( if I collaborate with her then) “ she will make me look bad”. Opposite: she won’t make me look bad Opposite: she will make me look good Other: I am making her look bad Self: I am making myself look bad
Turn it Around and find genuine, specific examples Belief: ( if I collaborate with her then) “ she will make me look bad”. EXTRA Opposite: If I DON’T collaborate with her, she will make me look bad. examples: is there any valuable insight or truth from this perspective?
Silence. • Give yourself (and your partner) some space for reflection and integration. • The Work ‘works’ at many levels of your mind, over a period of time. • Do not interrupt that process with analysis, advice or problem solving.
The 4 Questions of The WORK Belief: (if I ___) then ____________________ 1. Is it true? Yes/No 2. Can you absolutely know that it is true? Yes/No 3. How do you react, when you believe that thought? • Emotions, sensations, images, treat that person? Treat yourself? What do you get? What does it stop you from being able to do? 4. Who would you be without that thought? • What do you experience and notice?
Turn it Around and find genuine, specific examples Belief: Opposite: _____________________ Examples: Other: ________________________ Examples : Self: __________________________
Turn it Around and find genuine, specific examples Belief: (If I ________) then x will judge me. Opposite: x won’t judge me negatively Examples. Opposite: x will judge me positively Examples:
Turn it Around and find genuine, specific examples Belief: (If I ________) then x will judge me. Other: I am judging x (negatively) Examples:
Turn it Around and find genuine, specific examples Belief: (If I ________) then x will judge me. Self: I am judging myself (negatively) Examples:
Questions and Sharing • What did you experience? • Questions about doing The Work.
Applying The Work • Purpose is learning, growth, insight, evolving, alignment, connection, contribution, wellbeing, healing, resilience…. • Practice with compassion, curiosity, rigour (lean in…) • Future, past and current situations. • Fear, judgement, attachment, reactivity, bias, avoidance, stress and suffering…. • Different Exercises to “Identify” - fear exercise, underlying beliefs; Judge your Neighbour Worksheet..
Questions and Sharing • How does what you are learning about your own patterns connect to your systems change work? • How does it make a difference for you to work with your own limiting beliefs? • What can we learn about human limiting beliefs and patterns through our own work?
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