THE SCIENCE BEHIND OVERCOMING ANXIETY: HOW TO RECONNECT YOUR MIND AND HEART.
ACCEPTANCE, AND OUR BEING WIRED FOR SURVIVAL.
WE DISCONNECT When a dissonance between acceptance and authenticity shows, the former wins, every time.
WE FRAGMENT INTO PARTS One is in PAIN (and is sent away). One protects us from the pain and ensures we are accepted.
… AND WE DON’T EVEN REALISE IT We trade our intuition, our true voice, our essence, for acceptance and survival. We are wired like that.
ANXIETY IS A BYPRODUCT AVOIDANCE NEGATIVE FEELING SELF-TALK + STUCK RUMINATION PHYSICAL AND RESTLESSNESS ANXIETY EMOTIONAL PAIN LACK OF EMPTINESS CLARITY DISCONNECTION
#2 THE PART THAT SELF PROTECTS Protector ? ? The totality of YOU is your higher self PLUS many parts interacting with each other. ? Each with a different personality, needs and Scared wants. Part Each with a different VOICE. ONE part of you is as SELF scared as it gets, and is feeling anxious ALL the EGO time. ANOTHER part of you is in charge of keeping you safe. SELF TO protect you from any possible threats.
From ANXIETY to Connection DEEPER MEANING RECONNECT LOVING TO INNER INNER TRUTH/SELF VOICE RECONNECT GET LIFE CLARITY PURPOSE MIND AND HEART BEFRIEND FEEL YOUR WHOLE FEARS/ DEMONS REWIRE BELIEFS
THE ROOT CAUSE #1 EVENT/MODELING PATTERNS/BELIEFS Something in your life When a behavior is made you feel unsafe. repeated over time, a A critical parent, a pattern originates (a traumatic event, physical pathway in conditional love, school. the brain). Beliefs align. ONCE UPON A ANXIETY TIME DEFENSE HABIT MECHANISM The defense Your mind creates a mechanism is a part of way to FEEL safe, no you. It runs in the matter what (Ego-part: background and the protector). affects your whole life.
THE ROOT CAUSE #2 TOXIC BELIEF LABELING Acceptance is linked to safety. Acceptance wins During childhood we over authenticity every are treated/labelled in a single time. This is when certain way, over and disconnection happens. over again. ONCE UPON A ANXIETY TIME DISSONANCE INTERNALIZATION A dissonance originates. The toxic belief A struggle between becomes part of our authenticity and the identity and runs in our need for acceptance. subconscious. Thoughts and behaviors align.
IN THE MOMENT OVERWHELM Thoughts and ACTIVATION emotions support the reaction: the loop is Your belief and overwhelming. protector get activated. STRESS BASELINE SOURCE BEHAVIOR AVOIDANCE Negative stress The emotional reaction reinforced by overwhelm inevitably beliefs and previous brings to avoidance, experiences. therefore reinforcing the pattern.
WHAT IS ANXIETY A SYMPTOM NEED FOR A PATTERN SAFETY ANXIETY ENERGY A LABEL SUCKER DEEPLY EMOTIONAL ROOTED OVERWHELM FEAR
HOW TO ADDRESS ANXIETY #4 - TAKE #1 - GROW #2 - FEEL #3 - EVALUATE CONSCIOUS THOUGHTS AWARENESS EMOTIONS CHOICES
THE CORNERSTONES AWARENESS: UNDERSTAND THOUGHTS: YOUR INNER EMOTIONS: REWIRE YOUR YOUR DEEPLY ROOTED OBSERVER - LEARN HOW TO RELATIONSHIP WITH PATTERNS AND BELIEFS AND EVALUATE YOUR THOUGHTS EMOTIONS TO HEAR, TRUST MAKE YOUR UNCONSCIOUS... BEFORE BUYING INTO THEM AND FOLLOW YOUR INNER CONSCIOUS VOICE/SELF
AWARENESS BELIEFS BEHAVIORS One-line statements that describe how Negative behaviors that are the you perceive yourself, others and the outcome of corrosive beliefs and world in a rigid and toxic way. patterns: procrastination, avoidance, rumination, negative self-talk... PATTERNS PERSPECTIVE The sequence of beliefs--> thoughts--> behaviors that you have created over The understanding that our perception time and consolidated. is not objective. And once again it's a reflection of our belief system. THOUGHTS BIASES The negative thoughts generated by your mind to align with your beliefs and The very human biases we are born patterns. Humans avoid inner with, and which make it hard to shift dissonance at all costs. our perspective, beliefs and behaviors.
HOW TO - THE EXERCISES BELIEFS DIARY QUESTION IT 1 3 1-week diary/journal to keep track of Once you have some awareness your emotions and thoughts, about reoccurring thoughts and recognise patterns, toxic beliefs, and beliefs, start questioning them. coping mechanisms. THE SIMPLICITY 4 THOUGHTS FLOW FORMULA 2 A short 2-minute meditation to If you feel anxious, something's going repeat 2-3 times a day to grow your on. Dig deeper! It may be painful, but awareness about regular thoughts it will never be as painful as living bubbling up from your subconscious. with anxiety for the rest of your life.
THE WORST THING ABOUT ME IS THAT I'M ___________________
IF ___________________ WEREN'T SUCH A PROBLEM FOR ME, I WOULD ___________________
IF I DIDN'T HAVE/WERE NOT ___________________ I WOULD ___________________
YOUR INNER OBSERVER RECOGNISE BELIEFS AND STOP NEGATIVE PATTERNS SELF-TALK ON ITS TRACKS EVALUATE BEFORE YOU RESPOND INSTEAD OF BELIEVE REACTING SHIFT YOUR PERSPECTIVE CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE
HOW - THE EXERCISES WORDS MATTER SPOT YOUR INTERNALISED VOICES 1 3 A part of me is feeling anxious vs I'm having the Chances are that your inner voice is either muted or feeling of being anxious vs I am anxious. whispering. Your inner voice is a loving, compassionate and supportive voice . If the loud I'm having the feeling of being stupid vs I'm stupid. voices of your mind are harsh, critical and put you A part of me is feeling she is never enough vs I'm down, then they are not your inner voice . Hear not enough. them with a critical mind. YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS 2 LET THEM FLOW 4 Thoughts are generated all the time by your mind. Let your thoughts flow and go , without believing Some are random. Some are evolutionary wiring. them, without judging them, without getting stuck Some are internalised voices. Some are past and entangled in them. experiences and emotions. Imagine you are sitting on the peak of a YOU are so much more than your thoughts. mountain and see your thoughts laying on the passing clouds. Let them flow. See how new ones YOU are everything you choose to be. always show up. Notice how absurd some of them YOU are everything you choose to act upon. are. See them with clarity as what they are. Accept YOU can choose to discard ANY thought that is not them. And let them go. bringing you closer to what truly matters to your heart.
THE ABC OF EMOTIONS BE WITH THE LISTEN TO THE EVALUATE ITS ACKNOWLEDGE EMOTION WITH A UNDERLYING MEANING FROM THE EMOTION COMPASSIONATE MESSAGE AND YOUR INNER ATTITUDE OBSERVER LET IT GO
HOW - THE EXERCISE ACKNOWLEDGE COMPASSION 1 3 For some of us, avoiding our emotions is so second nature Compassion is a true keyword here. Your emotion is an that we reject them in auto-pilot. We don't notice being expression of something so important and so distressful triggered. Or the subtle irritation that poisoned in our that your WHOLE BODY is trying to communicate it to you. baseline. The sting of pain in our heart. It needs to be felt and accepted. It needs to be understood It takes a bit of training to notice as soon as an emotion is with compassion. A part of you is feeling like that. Imagine arising. Start by pausing a few times a day and ask showing love and support to that part of you, as that yourself “how do I feel right now?” and looking inside part simply needs love to let go of that pain. for a minute or two. LISTEN AND LET GO It may take a while before you reconnect to your heart and 4 emotions. That's absolutely OK. Soon enough your emotion will shift and transform . It may have a message for you, or not. It often does. BE WITH YOUR EMOTION 2 When you hear this message, take the role of your inner When an emotion arises, be with it. Without judging, observer before believing whatever it says. Why? In the explaining, searching, exploring or looking for reasons why. case of anxiety the emotion is often enough FEAR . A fear The same way you would sit with a friend in pain. Imagine rooted in the past and in toxic beliefs. It's important to feel sitting on a bench on your own side. In accepting and it, so that it can move on. It's as important not to get supportive silence. entangled in it, and be able to evaluate whether it's bringing you closer to the life you want to live . You may feel resistance (I know I surely did!). It helped me to imagine my heart open up to let the emotion in.
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