The Aspiring Superintendent: What You Don’t Know CAN Hurt You Sustaining a Healthy Lifestyle Professionally and Personally! Dr. Don Helmstetter, Chair Education Doctorate Programs Concordia University, St. Paul, MN November 12, 2016
What/Who Is Most Important To You? I know, what a dumb question!!
Two Critical Questions • If the past is a predictor of the future, how does your present professional lifestyle predict your future professional lifestyle as a superintendent? • And, if the past is a predictor of the future, does your present personal lifestyle say anything about your personal lifestyle in the future? • Here’s another question….
What Is Your Family “Cultural”? • At least one evening meal together weekly • Speak positively • Speak respectfully about others • Don’t bring school business home • What are yours? • Humor is encouraged and prevalent!
“I thought I was marrying a teacher!” (Has your spouse/partner ever said that)?
“I thought I was marrying a teacher!” Talk about this… …What are the key issues that cause stress with your loved one(s)? So what to do?!
What are the key issues…? Superintendents have listed these key issues in the past: – Demands to be at “all” events – Balancing Time? • at home • with family • missing family events – Fewer opportunities to socialize with (previous) friends (to simply be “normal”)? – Living in the school district boundaries – Never NOT on the job? – Work is never done? – Constant contentious issues? (including with Bd member(s) – Family “sucked into” controversies? “SIMPLY”…… OVERWHELMED!
The Hierarchy of Loyalties – Which are your top priorities, and which are most influencing your decision this time? Family Friends Superior Institution Institutional values Personal/spiritual values Clients/students/customers Helmstetter 2011
Hey, it’s not always that Bad! … And we need good leaders like you!
BUT -- How much have you considered this issue…?
In Every Interaction, be sure you can answer: Which Hat You Are Wearing? Service club Parent, friend, acquaintance, administrator? fellow church member, etc? What are the implications? How and when is access gained? Is it with you, your spouse, What is being asked/sold? Helmstetter, 2010 or another family member? To what do they feel entitled? How will you respond?
…and it’s not just you… Your entire, unsuspecting family is susceptible!!
“ Which Hat ?” Talk about this… So what can you do?!
Hey -- What About Boundaries?!!
What, or who, is off limits, and when?? – Your children? – Your spouse? – You?!! ( Even while shopping, and even at church -- really!! ) Did you really think you will have a choice in that matter?!
What About Boundaries? Actually, you do have choices, …but you will need to be very intentional about it.
So First, Remember this…
Here’s a Hint:
Balancing Time, Making Choices, or Both ?
You Already Know This:
So, take time to get away…
...Even if it’s only a part of the weekend
But What Happens When You Come to a “Fork in the Road?” • A school referendum • Adversarial Board Member(s) • A difficult public decision/dilemma – Star athlete caught drinking the week of the big game – Racial altercation at one of your schools – “Favorite” teacher accused of using school funds for personal purposes – (You have your own case studies! )
…Or Maybe Even Something “Simple,” Like Calling -- or NOT Calling -- a Snow Day
…Something Like Calling – or NOT Calling - a Snow Day … Who would’ve thought that the popularity of your kids – at least for that moment -- might be based on such a “simple” decision?! Well, it often is!
If all of these things are required of you, how will you ever achieve a healthy balance?!
Don’t Be Afraid To Seek Assistance • Seek Professional Help – MASA has a cadre of experienced Leadership Support Professionals – Connect with your mentors/peers – Take time with trusted family and/or friends • Seek Medical Help – If you or a family member continues to struggle with changing unhealthy behaviors or feels overwhelmed by stress, consider seeking help from a health professional, such as a psychologist. – Psychologists are licensed and trained to help you develop strategies to manage stress effectively and make behavioral changes to help improve your overall health.
Inherent Personal Traps • Trying too hard to play it safe. • Letting fears and biases tilt your thinking and analysis. • Getting lost in the minutia can cause trouble. • Craving for unanimous approval. • Trying to make decisions which are outside your realm of authority.
If all of these things are required of you, how will you ever achieve balance?! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo1VInw-SKc 1:38-2:20 I know, I know – It’s cheesy, but………..
I Know…. …It’s cheesy, but -- it’s effective! “This is my fight song ‘Take back my life’ song Prove I'm alright song My power's turned on Starting right now I'll be strong I'll play my fight song And I don't really care if nobody else believes 'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me!” sung by Rachel Platten (…Or, you could just read Dag Hammarskjold’s Markings)
Addressing The Stresses… Seriously, it works, because: – you can start to laugh again – you can re-energize – you can re-focus – individually and/or collectively – you can also re-commit
Always…. • Keep your faith and family at the forefront • Treat each person as you want to be treated • Remember why you became an educator in the first place • Stayed focused on the values and priorities you hold dear • Have an acceptable exit plan (Choices are good for the soul) • Have fun every day -- Always!
The Aspiring Superintendent THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION AND PARTICIPATION! Have a great weekend!
Recommend
More recommend
