SUPPORTING GRIEVING STUDENTS IN THE SCHOOL COMMUNITY Lauren W. S - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

SUPPORTING GRIEVING STUDENTS IN THE SCHOOL COMMUNITY Lauren W. S Schn hneid ider, , LCSW Clinical Director of Children’s Programs OUR R HOUSE SE Grief f Suppor ort t Center 1663 Sawtelle elle Blvd., d., #300 Los Angeles, es, CA 90025 (310) ) 473-1511 www.ou .ourhouse house-gr grie ief.or f.org/ laure ren@our n@ourho house use-gr grief ef.or .org

4 GOALS WHEN SUPPORTING GRIEVING CHILDREN Correspond to JW Worden, PhD’s Task Model for • understan standi ding ng grief. ef. • Grief ef Counseling nseling & G Grie ief f Therap rapy y (2009) • Children ldren & Grief ef (1996 96)

WORDEN’S TASK MODEL & OUR GOALS 1.To 1. o Ac Accep ept t the e Realit ity y of 1. To assist them with accepting and understanding that their loved the e Los oss one has died 2. To Process cess the e Pai Pain of 2. To support them while they experience the thoughts and the e Grief ef feelings associated with grief 3. To Adjust t to a World ld 3. To help them adjust to their new normal and Witho hout t the e Deceased eased 4. To Find d an Endu during ring 4. get their needs met in a world Connecti ction on with h the e without their loved one Decea cease sed d in the e Midst t of of 5. To provide guidance as the child Embar arking ing on a New w Life finds ways to honor their loved one’s memory and to maintain the positive connection with the deceased

GOAL L #1: : TO ASSIST ST THE HEM M WITH H ACCEPTIN EPTING G AND ND UND NDERST RSTAN ANDI DING NG THE HE REALIT LITY Y THA HAT T THE HEIR R LOVED D ONE NE HA HAS DIED 1. 1. Child’s ability to achieve goal dependent on thre ree e factor ors 2. 2. What can you do before re the child d returns eturns to school? ol? 3. 3. Bott ttom om line: e: Emp mpower er the child ld so he can talk k about ut what happen ened ed

TODDL DLERS ERS (U (UNTIL NTIL AGE GE 4 4 OR 5) 1. 1. Magical cal Think nker ers s 2. Eg Ego-cent centri ric 3. Cogn ogniti tively ely un unable le to un under derst stand nd deat ath h relat ated ed conce cepts ts: a. Irreversibility b. Unpredictable c. Universality d. Causality e. Non-functionality

SCHOOL AGED ( 6-10 YEARS) 1. 1. Conc ncre rete e think nker ers s (P (Pia iage get) t) 2. Un Under dersta stand nd perma rmane nenc nce e 3. Lack k language guage to expres press s grief ief verba ball lly 4. “Short sadness span” (Nancy Boyd Webb)

PRE-ADOLESCENTS AND TEENS 1. 1. Lack ck co cogni gnitiv tive e and emoti otion onal l maturity ty to process cess grief ef li like e adults lts 2. 2. Magica cal l think nkers 3. 3. Eg Ego-centric centric

TEENS (CONT’) 1. Identity vs. Role Confusion (Erickson) 2. Separation-Individuation process impacted

HE HELP LPING NG CHI HILD LD WITH H FI FIRST T GOAL 1. 1. Primary y Inter ervent ntion ion is use e of la langua uage ge 2. 2. Avoi oid d Eu Euphem phemisms isms or pla latitudes tudes “Death is when a person’s body stops working king and they y no lo longer ger breathe he, , think nk or feel l anythi ything ng and we will ll never er see them alive again”

CAUSES OF DEATH AT CAMP ERIN, AUGUST 2014 83 3 Grieving ving Children: ildren:  Illness: 66%  Homicide: 12%  Suicide: 8%  Overdose: 3%

DEFINITION OF SUICIDE Suici cide de is wh s when en so someone meone en ends ds thei heir r own n li life. e.

EXPLAINING SUICIDE TO CHILDREN 1. Define Suicide in simple terms 2. Give honest, age appropriate information about what actually caused the death 3. Answer questions honestly or by saying “I wish I could answer that question”. 4. Ask children to identify who they would go to for help if they ever felt so depressed they wanted to die

DEFINITION OF HOMICIDE “Homicide is when someone ends someone else's life”

SUBSTANCE RELATED DEATHS 1.Complications of Alcoholism 2.Liver Failure 3.Took too much medicine 4.Overdose

GOAL #1 ACTIVITIES 1. 1. Read d Books: ks: When Dinosaurs Die; Brave Bart; My Memory Book for Grieving Children 2. 2. Help them construct truct their ir narrativ ive: a. Write or Draw about the day of death b. Write or Draw about the day of the funeral or memorial service c. Draw where your person is now? d. The 5 Senses – see, hear, taste, smell, touch

WHA HAT T HA HAPPEN ENED ED TO YOUR UR PER ERSON? SON?

Wh Wher ere e is s you our pe person son now? w?

WHERE IS YOUR PERSON NOW?

DRAW THE HE DAY OF F THE HE FU FUNE NERAL RAL

DRAW WHA HAT HA HAPPENED PENED ON T N THE HE DAY OF F THE HE DEATH TH

GOAL L #2: : TO SUPPORT THE CHILDREN WHILE THEY EXPERIENCE THE FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS ASSOCIATED WITH GRIEF I T Typic ical l Grie ief Reacti tion ons A. SADNESS B. ANGER C. FEAR D. RELIEF OR HAPPINESS E. GUILT

GOAL #2 ACTIVITIES 1. Activit tivities es de designed ned to o hel elp them em expres ress s their eir fee eeli lings gs an and d quan anti tify fy them. em. a. Feelings Pie b. Feelings Ball c. Angry Bags d. Feelings Jenga e. Feelings Charades

FEELINGS SOUP 26

TRAUMA UMATIC TIC GR GRIEF IEF VS VS. . NATURA TURAL L GR GRIEF IEF Intrusive images of the Intrusive thoughts or scene or traumatic event images about the person itself who died A survivor may avoid Experiencing the presence reminders of the event May actively search out May have difficulty talking places and things that about the event at times remind them of the deceased May exhibit signs of Natural grief at other times Comforting to share memories about the person who died

CHI HILD LDHO HOOD OD TRAUMA UMATIC TIC GRIEF • Both oth Natura ral l Grief f and PTSD are present sent • Trauma symptoms interfere with the child’s ability to go through the e tasks s of mournin urning • Have to treat at the e trauma ma sympt ptom oms s first • Use TF-CBT BT or ot othe her r eviden idence ce-base based d practices tices • Teach ch Coping ing Strat ategies egies to use se when hen child d experience eriences trauma ma reacti ction ons

GOAL #3: TO HELP THEM ADJUST TO THEIR NEW NORMAL AND HELP THEM GET THEIR NEEDS MET IN A WORLD WITHOUT THEIR LOVED ONE. A. Teach coping strategies B. Prepare child for special days C. Assist with secondary losses as needed

COPING PING STRA RATE TEGIES: GIES: 1. Breathing Techniques 2. Visualization 3. Releases emotions through movement 4. Comforting self with music, journaling, pets, etc.

WHA HAT ARE YOU THA HANK NKFUL FUL FOR?

GOAL #4: TO PROVIDE GUIDANCE AS THE CHILD FINDS WAYS TO HONOR THEIR LOVED ONE’S MEMORY AND TO MAINTAIN THE POSITIVE CONNECTION WITH THE DECEASED 1. Engage in on-going rituals 2. Become more future oriented over time 3. Good News: Kids are resilient

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GO GOAL #4 4 ACTIVI IVITIES TIES

REMEMBERING DOESN’T HAVE TO HURT!

BEST T PREDICT ICTORS ORS OF POSITIV SITIVE OUTCO COME ME 1. How well the surviving parent or other family members adjust to life without the deceased 2. Consistent limit setting 3. Presence of similarly bereaved peers

NO SUCH THING AS “CLOSURE”!