Presented by John Cotter, PhD and Laura E. Eisenberg IT MEANS - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

Presented by John Cotter, PhD and Laura E. Eisenberg

IT MEANS THERAPY IS MOST EFFECTIVE WHEN IT HAS A GOAL AND IS MATCHED TO THE NEEDS OF THE PARTIES

What is the purpose of the therapy? 1. What are we trying to accomplish with this 2. therapy? If successful, what will the outcome look like? 3. ◦ for the client? ◦ for the children? ◦ for the family as a whole? ◦ for the co-parent? PRACTICE TIP : If you are a judge or GAL you should always be considering all of the above. If you represent a party, you may only consider items 1 and 2 above and your client’s needs, but an evaluation of item 3 is a better approach.

 Individual psychotherapy  Family therapy  Parenting counseling  Group counseling  Specialty counseling (reunification, anger management, substance abuse, parenting skills)  Therapeutic parenting time

 Mom and Dad have been divorced for 5 years. At the time of the divorce the children were young and Dad reluctantly agreed to 5 out of 14 overnights. Mom alleged that Dad was abusive and Dad alleged that Mom had alcohol and anger management issues.  Over the course of the last 5 years the parties have been before the court on countless occasions and Dad’s parenting time has been expanded to 6 out of 14 overnights and 50/50 in the summer. The conflict between the parties continues and the children have been struggling in school and clearly are affected by the conflict between the parents.  HOW DO WE HELP?

 WHAT IS THE PROBLEM WE NEED TO RESOLVE?  HOW DO WE FIX IT?

Speak to opposing counsel about the problems you want to solve (honestly and openly) and put it in an email to  the therapist, or better yet, have a conference call before referring the family to therapy. You mu must st co collaborat ate with the therap apist st, not punt to to them! m! The sooner you refer people for help the better. Early treatment is always more effective. Consider discussing a  referral to therapy at the EIC with your referee or family counselor. The Friend of the Court has lots of resources. The more information the therapist has before they start their work, the better and faster the process will  proceed. Prepare your client for the necessity to do the work necessary and understand change is an expectation, not an  option. When starting family therapy, have all family members meet individually with the therapist and have the  therapist direct the next steps. The therapist should be guiding the therapy, not the lawyers. However, lawyers should be giving the therapist honest feedback about how things are going. Your communication with the therapist should be honest feedback and no not advocacy. The therapist is there to  help make change, not to make decisions or advocate for one side. Therapists and GAL’s hate lawyers trying to manipulate them! You must choose a therapist who has experience working with families going through divorce or custody  disputes. This work requires a special skill set that is not easily acquired. Ask for referrals from people that you respect and trust.

 The parties are in the middle of a divorce. Dad had an affair that was discovered by their teenage daughter. Daughter refuses to exercise parenting time with Dad. Daughter is also acting out, sneaking boys into the house, and has been caught smoking pot.  Mom says that Daughter is reacting to Dad’s bad behavior. Dad says that Mom is angry about the affair and poisoning Daughter, and Mom’s toxic reaction is causing Daughter’s behavior.  Court orders the parties “to therapy. ” Dad begins going, but daughter does not like the therapist and refuses to go.

 Psychological evaluation  Custody evaluation  Education evaluation  Appointment of GAL or Parenting Time Coordinator  Court intervention/hearing

 We need to be more strategic about using therapy as a tool to bring about change.  Lawyers and therapists working collaboratively is an absolute necessity if we are going to truly be successful. Therapists can help with the emotional and psychological behavioral changes necessary, but the lawyers through the settlement or the court define the new normal.  Together we can help people adapt adapt to their new normal rather than fight against it. In the majority of cases, the best we can expect is to help people adapt. Genuine change is usually not a realistic expectation.