VALIDATION SKILLS Module 4 19/05/2015
2 Agenda 1. What is validation? 2. Three-part empathy 3. What is involved? 4. Why, when and how to use validation
3 What is validation? Validation = saying something People with BPD are much • • to show you ‘get where more sensitive to feeling someone’s coming from’ and invalidated accept their experience Their self-esteem is fragile, and • invalidation leads to fear and I understand anger, or despair and you’re desperation feeling angry Validation increases self- • esteem and the feeling of being understood
4 Validation = ‘three - part empathy’ Three-part empathy: Empathy = understanding and • imaginatively entering into Empathic Resonance 1. another’s feelings whilst not Understand where the person being taken over by those is ‘at’ feelings Expressed Empathy 2. Validation is transactional – • Communicate this when someone feels you understanding understand them, they’re more Received Empathy likely to try to understand you 3. Do it effectively so the person experiences it as validating or empathic
5 What is involved? Active observing : Validation is in the eye of the • Gathering information about beholder… what has happened/is happening Reflection: • Reflecting back to the person A comment or action with • your understanding with a intention to validate is only non-judgemental attitude validating if the other person experiences it that way Direct validation : • Confirming the person’s If your attempts aren’t • experience as validating, you can apologize understandable and try again
6 Why is validation useful? Commonly others attribute any Validation… • lack of progress in a person with Enhances wellbeing and • BPD to a lack of motivation and perceptions of relationships effort Decreases agitation • It may also feel like you’re being • manipulated However, it’s essential you • maintain the belief that they’re doing the best they can Mostly they’re just trying to • manage their feelings and, in desperation, persuade others to help
7 When to use validation There are situations where you’ll Six common forms of validation: • have to work to find something Listening 1. to validate: finding the ‘kernel Accurate reflection of truth’ 2. Articulating the unverbalized e.g. don’t want to validate self - 3. • harm as a solution, but helpful Normalizing in the context of a 4. to validate how distressed the person’s biological sensitivity person must have been Normalizing in the context of 5. the current situation Practical validation 6.
8 For more information… www.bpdfamily.com www.rethink.org www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.com
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