Parenting Children with Anxiety: Parenting Children with Anxiety: Becoming a Parent Coac Becoming a Parent Coach Dr. Susan Buchanan, Ph.D., C. Psych. Psychologist Front ontena nac F c Fami mily of ly of Schools Presen Schools Presentat tation on February 2 Fe 2014
Ov Over ervie view of T of Tonight night 1 st What is Anxie What is Anxiety? y? st 2 nd nd How Do Ho w Do Thoughts and F Thoughts and Feelings Af eelings Affect Anxiety? ct Anxiety? 3 rd rd How Can Y Ho w Can Your Child Learn t ur Child Learn to R Relax? lax? 4 th th Ho How Can Y w Can You Help Y elp Your Child Learn t ur Child Learn to Manage Manage Anxie Anxiety? y?
What is Anxiety? What is Anxie ty? What Causes What Causes Anxie Anxiety in y in Children? Children? Normal F Normal Fear ars? s? When Does Anxiety Become a Pr When Does Anxiety Become a Problem? oblem? Anxie Anxiety Disor y Disorder ers in s in Childhood Childhood
What Causes Anxiety in Children? What Causes Anxiety in Children? Children come with their own set of characteristics and abilities. Environments also have a set of characteristics • social • cultural • spiritual • physical
“Normal F “Normal Fear ars” s” Fear ars are a normal & natural par s are a normal & natural part of lif of life: 9 months: fear of separating from caregiver & fear of strangers 2 to 3 years: natural fears develop 9 to 10 years: self-consciousness develops Ho How do y w do you decide if y u decide if your child’s f ur child’s fear is “abnormal”? ar is “abnormal”? NO SUCH THING AS ABNORMAL FEAR.
What y What you need t u need to kno know about…. about…. Anxie Anxiety is y is normal. normal. Anxie Anxiety is y is no not danger t dangerous. ous. Anxie Anxiety is y is adaptiv adaptive. Anxie Anxiety becomes a pr y becomes a problem when our body reacts in oblem when our body reacts in the absence of real danger the absence of real danger.
“Normal F “Normal Fear ars”… s”… So, c So, children with anxie ildren with anxiety pr y problems can sim oblems can simply be ly be thought of as having normal w thought of as ha ving normal worries that ha rries that have become become more e more extreme and more intrusiv xtreme and more intrusive than those of o e than those of other her children. ildren.
When Does Anxiety Become a Pr When Does Anxiety Become a Problem? oblem? Does y Does your c ur child ild’s anxie s anxiety int y interfere or cause dif ere or cause difficulties f iculties for y r your ur ch child? Ke Key: If causing upse If causing upset and distress. t and distress. If st If stopping activities she or he pre opping activities she or he previously lik iously liked. d. If af If affecting y cting your child academically ur child academically, socially , socially, or , or in athle in athletic pur ic pursuits. uits.
When our body reacts in the absence of real danger… When our body reacts in the absence of real danger… rapid heart rate rapid breathing, feelings of shortness of breath, or breath holding discomfort or pain in the stomach, nausea feeling very hot or cold sweating trembling or shaking numbness or tingling headaches chest pain or discomfort dizzy, lightheaded, or unsteady feelings feelings of a lump in the throat or choking feeling things are unreal or feeling detached from oneself
When Does Anxiety Become a Problem? When Does Anxiety Become a Pr oblem? When y When your child… ur child… av avoids situations (e.g., going t situations (e.g., going to par parties with friends, ies with friends, pla playing outside at recess) ing outside at recess) r reassurance reassurance or asks q repeat repeatedly asks f edly asks for or asks questions estions e saf safety beha ty behaviours viours engages in engages in inappr inappropriat opriate
Ho How Does Anxie w Does Anxiety Af y Affect Children? ct Children? Anxious children t Anxious children tend t nd to… Have fewer friends Engage in fewer after-school activities. May do well at school, but not as well as they could. As adults, the As adults, they ma may… y… Be more likely to abuse alcohol and other drugs, be unemployed, have illnesses and visit medical clinics, be depressed and even suicidal. Most adults diagnosed with anxiety recognize that Most adults diagnosed with anxiety recognize that their anxie their anxiety star y started in ed in childh childhood. ood.
Forms of Anxie rms of Anxiety Disor y Disorder ders Separation Generalized Social Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety Disorder Disorder Disorder Specific Phobia Obsessive Post-traumatic Compulsive Stress Disorder Disorder Selective School Refusal Panic Disorder Mutism Behaviour
Ho How do Y w do YOU help y U help your anxious child? ur anxious child? Identify Negativ Identify Negative Aspects of Being Anxious Aspects of Being Anxious Identify Ho Identify How Y w Your Body R ur Body Responds t sponds to Anxiety & Anxiety & Fear ar Teach the Language of F ach the Language of Feelings eelings Teach Y ach Your Child t ur Child to Identify Anxious Thoughts Identify Anxious Thoughts Build Ne Build New Coping Strat w Coping Strategies gies
Ho How Do Y w Do You Help Y u Help Your Anxious Child? ur Anxious Child? FOCUS on identifying CUS on identifying What is MAINT What is MAINTAINING INING the anxie the anxiety? y? (What keeps the anxiety going when the cause or trigger is over?) The w The way the child thinks. y the child thinks. The w The way the child copes with his or her f y the child copes with his or her fear ars. s. The w The way that y y that you and u and your child int ur child interact. ract.
Identify Negativ Identify Negative Aspects of Being Anxious Aspects of Being Anxious (Com (Comple plete this f e this form t rm toge gether ther ) Can be yo your f feelings, w what yo you b believe eve t that yo your c child feels, or an eels, or an anon anonymous anxious per ymous anxious person. son. Mak Make a list of w a list of ways in ys in which y which your child’s lif ur child’s life will will be be dif different when anxiety is no longer bossing him or her erent when anxiety is no longer bossing him or her ar around. ound.
Identify the Body’s R Identify the Body’s Response t sponse to Stress & Anxiety Stress & Anxiety
Fight/Flight/F Fight/Flight/Fear R ar Response sponse Increased heart rate, blood pressure Breathing harder Shaky legs Sweaty hands Muscle tension Upset stomach
Sympathetic Nervous System “ fight or flight response” “stress response ”
Parasympathetic Nervous System Parasym Parasympathetic Ner athetic Nervou ous s Syst System: em: “relaxation response”
Our goal is t Our goal is to t teach y ach your child…. ur child…. About the body out the body ’ s response t s response to f fear ar. The f The fear response is ar response is the “fight or flight response. the “fight or flight response. It w It won ’ t hur t hurt y you and y u and you will be OK. u will be OK.
Ho How y w your body responds t ur body responds to anxiety and anxiety and fe fear…. Fear response… ar response… Increased heart rate, blood pressure Breathing harder Shaky legs Sweaty hands Muscle tension Upset stomach
Relaxation Strat laxation Strategies gies What aspect of our What aspect of our body’s functioning body’s functioning can w can we change and change and contr control? l?
Relaxation Strat laxation Strategies gies Paced breathing or Calm Breathing Paced breathing or Calm Breathing Pr Progressiv ogressive Muscle R e Muscle Relaxation laxation Visualization Visualization Mindful Meditation Mindful Meditation GO GOAL AL : Give your child the skills to reduce his or her body’s stress response.
Relaxation Strat laxation Strategies gies Common elements: Common elements: Quie Quiet place a t place away fr from distractions. om distractions. Dedicat Dedicated time. Same time, e d time. Same time, ever eryda yday. Comf Comfor ortable furniture. table furniture. Seat Seated or la ed or laying position. ying position. Ey Eyes closed or looking at ONE spo es closed or looking at ONE spot. Listen to to Re Relaxation Re Record rding.
Relaxation Strat laxation Strategies: gies: Mindmast Mindmaster ers CD s CD
Paced Breathing Paced Breathing Place y Place your hand on y ur hand on your st ur stomach. omach. Breathe in Breathe in thr through y ugh your nose. ur nose. Counting 1, 2, 3. 4. Pause. Breathe out thr Breathe out through y ugh your nose or mouth. ur nose or mouth. Counting 1, 2, 3, 4. Pause If y If you breathe out with y u breathe out with your mouth, k ur mouth, keep it closed eep it closed except f cept for a small hole, the size y r a small hole, the size you w u would use t uld use to suck suck on a stra on a straw. KEY POINTS: Slow breathing. Filling and emptying lungs.
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