P.A.C.T. Parenting Adolescents with Catholicism Together January - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

P.A.C.T. Parenting Adolescents with Catholicism Together January 20, 2016 St. Laurence Catholic Church – Sugar Land, TX

Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in them the fire of your divine love. Send forth your Spirit and they shall be created, and you shall renew the face of the earth. Oh God, who instructs the hearts of your faithful by the light of your Spirit, grant by that same Spirit that I might have right judgment in all things and always rejoice in your consolation. Amen!

 7:00 – Welcome! Sign in. Refreshments in the back.  7:15 – Opening Prayer to the Holy Spirit  7:20 – Agenda  7:25 - Steve Introduction  7:30 – Room Introductions  7:45 – Bianca Introduction  7:50 – Initial Mission: What we think we’re trying to do   7:55 – Take away – Love Languages  8:05 – Questions? What’s next?  8:10 - Edge is dismissed  8:15 – Closing Prayer

Room Introductions 1. What’s your name? 2. How old are your kids? 3. What would you like to see from this ministry? 4. What’s the best parenting advice you ever received?

Bianca Introduction – Why I’m here  Enlightening experiences with other groups: • SJ Mom’s Club – Mass, Retreats, Service Opportunities • St. Laurence Family Faith – RE with my son • Shell Working Parents – Mothers and fathers helping each other navigate polices and sharing what works for them • St. Laurence Grief Support Group – Just being there to listen  Lack of resources: • Parent Life from Life Teen? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_Teen • Limited Catholic Adolescent Books and Catholic Single Parent Groups  Suggested by the resources God did provide: • Speaker at St. Laurence School 8 years ago and Catholic parenting book • World Meeting of Families - Philadelphia

What is our mission? What do you need? * Parent Health – Spiritual and emotional. To provide growth opportunities while we carry a similar “cross” – raising Catholic adolescents in a secular culture. To provide both spiritual and emotional opportunities for support, guided by the Holy Spirit, through prayer, scripture presentations and discussions from a Catholic viewpoint to assist in “bearing our cross”. This might also be viewed as pastoral support. * Parent Education - Simple, practical spiritual, emotional and behavioral information to consider. Each session, answering parent's questions and concerns. Offering theological and psychological information from a Catholic perspective. * Parent Networking - Provide opportunity for parents to interact and resource with one another, both on day to day things like carpooling and to discuss the big problems and “scary” difficult situations. Help each other overcome whatever holds us back while understanding bad things happen to good kids and families. Share service opportunities/ministries that support more growth, e.g. Youth Ministry Core Activities – these provide adolescent perspective and are always in need due to the size of the parish! * Unique Small Group Support – Provide opportunity for these groups to form with support and/or resources from other groups as needed. For example, single parents may wish to include Anne Marie Daniel or step parents can try to use Divorce Care like materials. Note that any small group of parents might want to form their own Small Christian Community at St. Laurence. These groups can meet more often as they like, separately.

What is our mission? What do you need? Possible Goals Short Term Long Term Parent Health Share & Develop Spiritual Gifts Parent Retreat, Joyful Parents Parent Education Topics of the week: Focus on distinctly Website with links to sites, best apps, books, Catholic and spiritual presentations on articles, music, movies, etc. building behavioral skills and supporting successful human development for both adolescents and their parents. Parent Networking Carpool List Website with links to members and their helpful lists – babysitters? Unique Small Group Support Identify who is attending PACT and what TBD. For single parents or others tight on needs can be met together. budget, practical support in cooking and cleaning, e.g. possible ‘library/share’ program of non essential but ‘nice to have’ household items, e.g. robot vacuums, stand mixers, etc.

Tonight’s Takeaway: What is your child’s love language?  Focusing on the two great commandments in Matthew 22:34,  “ When the Pharisees heard that he had silence the Sadducees, they gathered together, and one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. "Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?" He said to him, " 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the greatest in first commandment. And the second is like it: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets .“  Our #1 job as parents is to meet our child's need for love. A child that feels loved develops into a more emotionally stable child.  We all love our children, but we may not be showing them love in a way they can readily feel and understand. Children are behaviorally motivated. It’s not enough to just tell them you love them, although this is important.  National bestseller Dr. Gary Chapman theorizes that each person has a primary love language. There are 5 in total: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time and Physical Touch.  The Five Love Languages for Teenagers will be released in May 2016.  Online quiz for you or your child: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/

Tonight’s Takeaway: What is your child’s love language? We should try to consistently ‘speak’ our child’s primary love language and then sprinkle in other actions from the other 4 languages as well for good measure. Although children and young teens may find it hard to articulate their love language, it can usually be perceived in the way they show love to others for this is what they are longing for themselves. Love Language Description Actions Be careful Words of Encouraging, praising, cheering on your child Leave notes/cards on bathroom mirrors and If the only time you speak to your kids as they grow older Affirmation builds them up in ways that very little else compliment. Always say I love you. Praise is to blame, rebuke, and criticize them, you'll eventually can. If there is something our children need a them aloud around others. Come up with a lose their heart and future friendship generous helping of, it is words of cheer/song with their name in it. Be specific affirmation. It sets the tone/direction for the in your praise. Always use kind words. rest of their lives. Quality Time Children are delighted and have a high level Make eye contact. Ask about their day, Pay The parent who will not get away from the newspaper, of self-esteem, when they receive undivided attention to details. Plan special events and phone, TV or computer is communicating to her child attention and time from their parents or trips. Eat together as a family. Remember that these other things compete equally for your share with them in quality activities the child special days! precious time. As a result the child does not develop a enjoys. proper something self-worth and will eventually withdraw Receiving Gifts do not have to be expensive. The child Keep a small stash of inexpensive gifts. Leave If the child's language is not in receiving gifts, no amount Gifts feels special just because you care to give gifts for them when you’re out of town or of gifts will compensate for poor quality time or them something. still at work. Shop with them for a special whatever their language may be. It may satisfy your guilt, gift. Send them on a gift treasure hunt. Give but certainly not satisfy them. gifts on special occasions and also on not so special occasions. Acts of Service These children appreciate the parents who Practice sports together. Work together on a Most parents are dutiful in their tasks in helping their willingly and lovingly do things for them. project. Check homework. Pick them up on children, but when the child senses a burden in the time. Surprise them by doing a chore for parent’s acts of service, it makes them feel unworthy, them. Teach them how to serve others with and even guilty for any service done for them. acts of kindness. Physical Touch It is an established fact that babies and young Hold hands. Hug often (studies show people A parent who may not have received a lot of warmth or children thrive with hugs and kisses but even need 7 hugs a day!). Use bean bag chairs and hugs may not know how to effectively communicate in the teenager who may appear to be aloof in tight spaces/swaddle. Have family cuddles, that love language. As a result the child grows up with the presence of his peers, will want to be Sing action songs. Have tickle fun. Read poor self-esteem, and seeks to prematurely fulfill the assured that the warmth and hugs are always stories together on the couch or your lap. desire for physical touch from other sources. there for him.

Questions – What’s Next? 1. Please email any questions to stevecindyb@comcast.net 2. Expect an email with presentation 3. Reply with your suggestions and feedback – you can also be anonymous via box in the back of the room 4. Next mtg is Feb.3 5. Volunteers for drinks or anything else?