1/29/2019 Welcome NICU Consortium Education Program NICU Consortium Membership Please support us in continuing to provide these educational programs related to the care of January 30, 2019 premature, medically fragile, and at-risk families. Sign up at the Special Kids, Special Care website. www.specialkids-specialcare.org Focusing on Fathers 9:00 am Welcome and Announcements NICU Consortium Partnership Meeting – February 22, 2019 10 am to 12 noon 9:15 am “Teen Fathers: The Forgotten Parent” Jefferson County Health Department, 945 Parfet St., Lakewood, CO 80215 Join us to learn about our programs and activities and how you can become involved in Rick Ellsmore, Glass Hearts Founder & Program Director supporting our efforts to support families of premature and medically fragile infants. Children’s CAMP Clinic , Fatherhood Coordinator 10:15 am Break 10:30 am “Supporting the Dads during and after the NICU ”. John R. Holmberg, Psy.D. PC Please write questions down for Q & A at the end Glass Hearts Glass Hearts Focus We all have glass hearts, scarred hearts, that have been broken in some way. It Jakob Merle is in community that these Ellsmore unique broken shards can be gathered and meticulously melded back together. Born @ PSL NICU • • Birth photo at 24 weeks • 1.12 pounds • 123 days in NICU 1
1/29/2019 Glass Hearts Focus Glass Hearts • Young/New Dads ages 16-21 Focus • Focus is on emotional & social areas In the end, it is empathy and • Meet at Moorhead Rec Center in Aurora love that serves as a glazier that connects our wounded hearts, building them into a • 16 week empathy-based curriculum focusing on: stained glass masterpiece — a community of complex • Manhood mosaics. This arduous, but beautiful process brings • Fatherhood wholeness and joins us • Emotions together to form a diverse and profound community. • Communication Children’s Fatherhood Hospital Focus • Young Moms Clinic • Understanding empathy so • Moms age out at 21 you treat your child, others, and yourself kindly • Connect with dads (ages 15- 30) • Learn to love/accept yourself so you can fully • Use Glass Hearts curriculum love your child • Try to live by the Golden/Platinum Rule Gaps in Service • All areas of society • No longer teaching • Little encouragement • 80% reality Caleb’s Story 2
1/29/2019 American Fatherhood Extremely important to identity • 57% dads • 58% moms Q & A Childcare time • 10 hours in 2016 • 4 hours in 1965 Household chores • 14 hours in 2016 • 4 hours in 1965 Fathers? • How to (do we?) include fathers? • How to (do we?) make them feel welcome? • How to (do we?) thank them for showing up? The Critical Questions Father Inclusion: • Do fathers need to be involved? • If so, why? And what difference does it make? • The need to educate ALL those who come in contact with NICU parents • Need to change the “language” “Gift” Dads a • Affects advertising New Message • Affects how we answer the phone Speak into their fear by helping them understand that they are • Affects how we welcome & invite into the process wanted, and needed, in the process of birth, postpartum, • Affects how we thank dads for their involvement and over their child’s life— Lifetime Fatherhood! 3
1/29/2019 Jakob Merle Have an Ellsmore awesome day! • 17 years old • Healthy • CareerWise Program • Graphic Design Watch for the Education Calendar February 2019 Promoting Parent-Child Relationships Scales (NCAST) Centennial, Colorado Feeding Scale Assessment Certification • April 26, May 3, May 10 and June 7, 2019 8:30 am to 4:30 pm • Teaching Scale Assessment Certification July 26, August 2 and August 9, 2019 8:30 am to 4:30 pm Rick Ellsmore Zoya Dickins Miller Neonatal Conference • Grew up in Alaska Mary 1, 2019 8:00 am to 3:15 pm • Fathering experience Neonatal Feeding Challenges Penrose House Conference Center, Carriage House, Colorado Springs • Healed/healing process Infant and Family Trauma: Spotlight on Families, Systems and Reflective Practice March 9 - 10, 2019 9:00 am to 5:00 pm The Mariposa Center for Infant, Child and Families, Systems and Reflective Practice Denver, CO John Holmberg, Psy.D. Dr.John@ChildFamilyPsych.org ChildFamilyPsych.org and RealMensCounseling.com 303.503.4448 • Clinical psychologist • Training • CU Boulder, Baylor University, Yale University - Child Study Center, CU Health Sciences • Complementary practice specialties • Men and Dads • Men’s transition to fathering, prenatal & post -partum depression, fertility, birth trauma, bereavement and infant loss • Anxiety, Depression, ADHD, alcohol/cannabis/substance misuse infidelity, anger management, career re-direct, life change adjustment, divorce/family transitions, child/teen/young adult parent guidance • Child & Adolescent Psychology • ADHD, Depression, Anxiety, school & learning challenges, social difficulties, family transitions, grief, young adult failure-to-launch • NICU specific experiences • Working with many families around developmental assessments for their premature and LBW babies during Fellowship • Counseling dads, after complicated births and NICU experiences http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/45-photos-of-parents-that-capture-their-emotional-nicu-journeys_us_56421939e4b0b24aee4bdce2? • 1 st hand stories about my wife and sister-in-law, twins - NICU graduates in the 1970’s https://www.today.com/parents/dwayne-rock-johnson-tweets-about-skin-skin-baby-t127824 4
1/29/2019 2. Potentially avoidable negative outcomes from NICU time 3. Strategies GOAL: 1. Context – cited as Phenomenon clinically Increased of transition helpful to fathering Support for for men Parents and GOAL: Babies Increased Experiencing Support for NICU NICU Parents and Babies Screening tools 4. Growing literature on interventions Pilot Studies Case Example – the Intro Buck – 2. Potentially avoidable • Became a tax attorney, in part, because of the predictability and flow of the work negative • outcomes from He & his wife planned their first pregnancy so the birth would fall into the month of May NICU time • Their daughter was born exactly on the expended date of birth, exactly as planned 3. Strategies 1. Context – – down to the meal provided at the hospital cited as Phenomenon • They waited precisely 16 months to try for a second clinically of transition to fathering helpful pregnancy so the birth could coincided with his for men becoming a partner in his firm (and he could slow down GOAL: with the volume of work and be more engaged Increased with the family)… they were pregnant right away Support for • At their 33-week prenatal follow-up, his wife NICU Parents developed acute complications and they were taken and Babies by ambulance to the closest hospital Screening tools • 4. Growing During the birth, his wife had to be resuscitated twice literature on • His son experienced respiratory distress but was interventions otherwise healthy and relatively heavy for his estimated weeks of gestation Pilot Studies Transition to Parenting - Guys Transition to Parenting – Guys = Heterogeneity or Heterogeneous • Phenomenology • Men’s sense of pregnancy tends to be more abstract • Seldom do men articulate having children as part of their life plan – expected but less specific and concrete • Few social rituals (and classes) for men around preg. & childbirth • Greater variation in men’s age at birth, less likely to feel part of a cohort • Men’s sense of bonding with the baby tends to emerge ( a bit ) later • Fathers, especially resident fathers, experience many ( unanticipated ) life changes after the birth of a child • New roles, responsibilities, restrictions, daily routines and revision of all existing relationships • Co-parenting is a key new role to be negotiated • Persistent stress with few immediate rewards • Restructuring of one’s sense of self and priorities DEFINTION: Not a single unified group, representative of lots of variation, great diversity a mish-mash, a mix-up, a potpourri • Shifting cultural expectations around gender roles and infant care • “not at all like my father/grandfather parented” 5
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