PAID EMPLOYMENT AND HOUSEHOLD WORK ➤ FT employed couples after birth of first child measured household/childcare time PARTNERSHIP ➤ Women increased 21 hours a week ➤ Men increased 12.5 hours ➤ Women shouldered the majority of physical and engagement child care & FAMILIES more housework than men ➤ Men’s housework declined by 5 hours ➤ Women, child care was supplemental to existing household burdens Organizing Families to Support the ➤ For women, but not men, child care did not substitute for any of their existing Aspirations of Mormon Women work (Yavorsky, Kamp Dush,Schoppe - Sullivan, 2015) ➤ Wife’s perception of equity predicted level of conflict Julie de Azevedo Hanks, PhD, LCSW (Perry-Jenkins & Folk, 1994). 1 2 DOMINATOR - PARTNERSHIP CONTINUUM “ Dominator Model Partnership Model The gender revolution has largely Top-Down Authoritarian Control More Democratic Organization been one-sided — women have Hierarchies of Domination Hierarchies of Actualization entered traditionally male jobs, but Organized by Ranking Organized by Linking men have been reluctant to take on High Degree Institutionalized Violence Non-Violent/Peaceful Solutions traditionally female activities. Masculine & Feminine Males/Masculine Highly Valued Equally Valued Caring & Non-Violence Valued by Men and Devaluation of Caring & “Soft” Values Women -Paula England (England, 2010) (C) 2016 Julie Hanks, LLC 3 4
DOMINATION IS PRIDE / RANKING PARTNERSHIP IS ZION ➤ 2 Nephi 28:24-26 lifted up in pride wearing of costly ➤ 4 Nephi 1:15 no contention, love of God which did dwell in the hearts of the people apparel, goods and their substance no more common among ➤ 4 Nephi 1:16 no envyings, nor strifes, nor tumults, nor whoredoms, nor them, divided into classes, build up churches unto themselves lyings, nor murders, nor any manner of lasciviousness, could not be a to get gain, deny the true church of Christ. happier people ➤ Mormon 8:28 lifted up in the pride of their hearts, leaders of ➤ Mosiah 27:4 “That they should let no pride nor haughtiness disturb their churches and teachers shall rise in the pride of their hearts peace; that every man should esteem his neighbor as himself, laboring with their own hands for their support.” ➤ 3 Nephi 6:15 iniquity, puffing them up with pride,tempting ➤ Alma 1:30 did not send away any who were naked, hungry, thirsty or sick, them to seek for power, and authority, and riches, and the did not set their hearts upon riches; therefore they were liberal to all, having vain things of the world.” no respect to persons as to those who stood in need ➤ D&C 121:41 “No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned.” 6 5 6 DEFINING “THE FAMILY” THE LADDER as of December 2014, less than half of American children lived with a married heterosexual couple (Livingston, 2014) Dominator Families Only 16% of households consist of a married male and female ➤ Hierarchies of Domination with male raising their own biological children (Krogstad, 2014). “in charge” ➤ Authoritarian parenting style - fear & force “Family” is broadly defined as a group of people living in the ➤ Members needs and value are ranked same household who self identify as a family. ➤ Emotional and physical violence used to resolve conflict ➤ Boys/masculine strength valued ➤ Nurturing others is devalued and is only “women’s work” 7 8
MINOAN CRETE 3650-1400 BCE THE FIELD Partnership Families ➤ Democratic Structure ➤ Led by Hierarchies of Actualization ➤ Organized by Linking ➤ Prioritize Caring for Others ➤ Non-Violent Solutions ➤ “Masculine” & “Feminine” are valued ➤ Diversity is seen as a strength ➤ High level of differentiation of self 9 10 “ PARTNERSHIP MODEL OF “ As a microcosm of society, the family can act as FAMILY a crucible for the creation of partnership. It seems the most obvious place to start, with the ORGANIZATION people we love most and are closest to.” (Montouri & Conti, 1993, p. 126) 8 C’s of Partnership Families(PMFO) TM 11 12
ACTUALIZATION HIERARCHY 1) COOPERATIVE ADULT LEADERSHIP ➤ The term “self-actualization,” people who are actively creating ➤ Actualization meaning and are fully engaged in the use of talents, capacities, and the development of their potentialities (Maslow, 1973). hierarchy ➤ Actualization is the realization of our highest human potential ➤ Equal partnership to inspire, support, and empower others and ourselves (Eisler, marriage 2008a) ➤ Family members’ values and needs do not need to be ranked ➤ Authoritative in order of importance or power, but decisions are made with parenting style the welfare of all in mind ➤ Moses 1:39 For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. 13 14 1) COOPERATIVE ADULT LEADERSHIP - REFLECTION QUESTIONS EQUAL PARTNERSHIP MARRIAGE ➤ "Marriage requires a full partnership where wives and ➤ Who decides which roles and responsibilities husbands work side by side to meet the needs of the are assigned to whom? family.” (Cook, 2011, May). ➤ How can we make sure adults have equal ➤ “ A marriage of equal partners is also one in which the access to economic power? partners help one another in their stewardships, indeed, are “obligated to help one another as equal partners.” This ➤ How can adults work together to help each partnership extends to housework and childcare. President family member grow and reach potential? Packer has said, “There is no task, however menial, connected with the care of babies, the nurturing of children, or with the ➤ In what ways are we using fear, force, or shame maintenance of the home that is not [the husband’s] equal obligation.”(Husdon & Miller, 2013, April) to control others? How can we improve? 15 16
2) CONNECTION ORIENTATION LINKING INSTEAD OF ➤ Secure attachments ➤ Process-oriented RANKING ➤ Interconnection with larger systems 17 18 SECURE ATTACHMENTS EMOTIONAL AWARENESS ➤ Attuned parents and affectionate touch buffers an infant’s stress ➤ Emotions are viewed as important equal to cognition response Increased oxytocin levels have been reported in fathers ➤ Emotion coaching parenting after play with their infants (Feldman, et al., 2010) ➤ Awareness of intangibles ➤ During face-to-face interactions, mothers and infants coordinate heart rhythms, the beginnings of regulation (Feldman, et al, 2011) ➤ Parents are neurologically wired to feel good when nurturing each other and their children (Holt-Lunstad, Birmingham, & Light, 2014). ➤ A caregiver’s healthy predictable, repetitive, nurturing responses enable a young child’s neurophysiology to develop the capacity to regulate stress and to form healthy attachments (Ludy-Dobson & Perry, 2010). 19 20
2) CONNECTION ORIENTATION - REFLECTION QUESTIONS ➤ What ties the family members together? ➤ Is the process more important than the outcome? ➤ How does your family honor interconnections with extended family, church, community, global community, earth? 21 22 SYSTEMIC DEVALUATION OF CAREGIVING 3) CAREGIVING EMPHASIS ➤ GDP doesn’t count caring as productive work. ➤ If included, care work at home would add another 30-50% to ➤ Caring for others is highly reported GDP valued ➤ Is the only developed nation with no national funding for paid ➤ All family members participate parental leave and invests the least in early childhood care and in caring for each other education. ➤ Recognize and value emotional ➤ The ROI for early childhood education is between $7 to $16 per labor dollar invested ➤ Value caring for community ➤ 1 in 3 U.S. women is living below or on the brink of poverty and the earth largely because they are the bulk of underpaid & unpaid caregivers CaringEconomy.org 23 24
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