Domestic Violence and Narcissistic Abuse COVID-19 Implications - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

Domestic Violence and Narcissistic Abuse COVID-19 Implications Presented by Brenda Stephens, MS, LPCC www.stephenstherapy.com brenda@stephenstherapy.com

What is Domestic Violence National Domestic Violence Hotline Definition - Domestic violence (also called intimate partner violence (IPV), domestic abuse or relationship abuse) is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship. Working definition - Any behavior inflicted by one person in a relationship to another that causes them to feel unsafe, mentally unstable, and out of control. Each victim decides what feels like abuse to them.

Cycle of Abuse

COVID-19 Specifics How does DV look different while we are experiencing a pandemic and restricted to our homes? There are limited statistics to compare current reports of DV during this COVID crisis. Even past natural disasters such as Mt. St. Helens, Katrina, brush fires in Australia, and other catastrophic events. Social isolation is a key factor.

More on Isolation (and Lack of Services) People are working from home or have perhaps lost their employment. Clients are not easily able to visit others which may reduce their feeling or level of support. Isolation causes its own set of issues. Shelters and other helping services may be closed.

What the Abuser Might be Doing: What to notice You might have clients coming to you for issues unrelated to abuse. It’s important to know what to look for. The abuser using the virus as a scare tactic to keep the victim away from their children. ● The abuser using COVID-19 as a scare tactic so that the victim would not visit family. ● The abuser withholding cleaning items to control the victim. ● The abuser limiting access to information to keep the victim in fear of the virus. ● The abuser withholding insurance cards, threaten to cancel insurance, or prevent victims from ● seeking medical attention if they need it. An abusive partner may feel more justified and escalate their isolation tactics. ●

What Your Client May be Experiencing Programs that serve survivors may be significantly impacted. Shelters may be full or may even ● stop intakes altogether. Survivors may also fear entering shelter because of being in close quarters with groups of people. Survivors who are older or have chronic heart or lung conditions may be at increased risk in ● public places where they would typically get support, like shelters, counseling centers, or courthouses. Travel restrictions may impact a survivor’s escape or safety plan. It may not be safe for the ● victim to use public transportation or to fly. - National Domestic Violence Hotline

What Your Client Can Do Self-Care - Cover the Basics Then Expand Options Sleep ● Exercise ● Proper Nutrition ● Take a Walk ● Journal Thoughts (and keep journal in a safe place) ● Watch a Movie ● Take a Bath ● Play/Cuddle with a Pet ●

Create a Safety Plan With Your Client You can find an interactive safety plan at this link https://www.loveisrespect.org/for-yourself/safety-planning/interactive-safety-plan/ Help your client to keep the following in mind with safety planning: The information you fill in must be honest and accurate. ● Be sure to keep the safety plan in an accessible but secure location. Also consider giving a copy of the safety ● plan to someone that you trust. If your client doesn’t feel safe keeping the printed safety plan or emergency contact card with them, they can ● still use the safety tips by trying to memorize at least one phone number of someone to call any time. Your client knows their situation better than anyone else; encourage them to trust their judgment and weigh ● their options before taking any steps.

Narcissistic and Other Mental/Emotional Abuse Similarities to other types of abuse. The patterns are very similar between abuser and victim however the abuse is quite different. Narcissistic Abuse is often covert and sneaky, victims themselves struggle to identify what is happening. Most people see the good side (the mask) that the narcissist presents outwardly. The victim can’t understand why they don’t see the real person and they start to question their own perceptions.

What to Look for With Your Client’s Presentation Confusion ● Extremely low self esteem ● Lack of self identity ● Emotionally and intellectually strong in other areas ● Anxiousness (partly due to hypervigilance) ● Isolated ● Trauma bond ●

How to Help Your Client All of the tools noted previously can help your client who is trying to recover from narcissistic abuse. The most apt description or fable that I’ve come across to describe narcissistic abuse victims is the following: “If a frog is put suddenly into boiling water, it will jump out, but if the frog is put in tepid water which is then brought to a boil slowly, it will not perceive the danger and will be cooked to death.” When this describes their reality, you can see why validation is so incredibly important.

Narcissistic/Mental Abusers Remember the abuser can be anyone. During this crisis, manipulation can come from narcissistic parents, siblings, other family members, or friends. Survivors of this type of abuse tend to try to keep the peace. It’s important to talk to them about boundaries and self preservation. Narcissistic abuser play the victim, twist words, and blame the victim. Help them understand this and that they are not to blame.

In Summary Keep an eye and ear out for what your clients may not be saying such as: Canceling appointments at the last minute ● Being late often ● Excessive privacy concerning their personal life ● Isolating themselves from friends and family ● Overly apologetic or meek ● Presenting as fearful ● Changes in sleeping or eating patterns ● Anxious or on edge ● Substance abuse ● Symptoms of depression ● https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-help-a-victim-of-domestic-violence-66533

Questions? Comments? Your Expereinces?

Resources and references The National Resource Center on Domestic Violence (this link is a clearinghouse for Domestic Violence Resources). https://vawnet.org/news/preventing-managing-spread-covid-19-within-domestic-violence-programs The Domestic Abuse Hotline Page https://www.thehotline.org/2020/03/13/staying-safe-during-covid-19/ Reference: Andrew M. Campbell - An increasing risk of family violence during the Covid-19 pandemic: Strengthening community collaborations to save lives.