Compassionate/Nonviolent Communication (c) 2005 by Center for - PDF document

Compassionate/Nonviolent Communication (c) 2005 by Center for Nonviolent Communication Website: www.cnvc.org Email: cnvc@cnvc.org Phone: +1.505.244.4041 Skills ● OBSERVATION - Differentiating observation from evaluation, being able to carefully observe what is happening free of evaluation, and to specify behaviors and conditions that are affecting us ● FEELINGS - Differentiating feeling from thinking, being able to identify and express internal feeling states in a way that does not imply judgment, criticism, or blame/punishment ● NEEDS - Connecting with the universal human needs/values (e.g. sustenance, trust, understanding) in us that are being met or not met in relation to what is happening and how we are feeling ● REQUESTS - Requesting what we would like in a way that clearly and specifically states what we do want (rather than what we don’t want), and that is truly a request and not a demand (i.e. attempting to motivate, however subtly, out of fear, guilt, shame, obligation, etc. rather than out of willingness and compassionate giving) Feelings EXCITED HOPEFUL AFFECTIONATE amazed expectant compassionate animated encouraged friendly aroused optimistic loving astonished sympathetic dazzled JOYFUL tender eager amused warm energetic delighted enthusiastic happy CONFIDENT giddy pleased empowered invigorated tickled open lively proud passionate PEACEFUL safe surprised calm secure vibrant clear headed comfortable ENGAGED EXHILARATED centered absorbed blissful content alert ecstatic fulfilled curious elated mellow engrossed exuberant relaxed fascinated radiant relieved interested rapturous satisfied intrigued thrilled still spellbound stimulated GRATEFUL REFRESHED appreciative rejuvenated INSPIRED thankful rested amazed touched revived awed

devastated AFRAID DISCONNECTED grief apprehensive alienated heartbroken foreboding aloof hurt frightened apathetic lonely mistrustful bored miserable panicked cold regretful petrified detached remorseful scared distracted suspicious indifferent SAD wary numb depressed worried removed dejected uninterested despair ANNOYED despondent aggravated DISQUIET disappointed dismayed agitated discouraged displeased alarmed forlorn exasperated discombobulated gloomy frustrated disconcerted hopeless impatient disturbed melancholy irritated restless unhappy shocked wretched ANGRY startled enraged surprised TENSE furious troubled anxious indignant turbulent cranky irate uncomfortable distressed outraged uneasy edgy resentful unnerved fidgety unsettled irritable AVERSION upset jittery animosity nervous appalled EMBARRASSED overwhelmed contempt ashamed restless disgusted chagrined stressed out dislike flustered hate guilty VULNERABLE horrified mortified fragile hostile self-conscious guarded repulsed helpless FATIGUE insecure CONFUSED burnt out reserved ambivalent exhausted sensitive baffled lethargic shaky bewildered listless dazed tired YEARNING hesitant weary envious lost worn out jealous mystified longing perplexed PAIN nostalgic puzzled anguished pining torn bereaved wistful

Needs PHYSICAL WELL-BEING MEANING air awareness CONNECTION food celebration of life acceptance movement/exercise challenge affection rest/sleep clarity appreciation sexual expression competence belonging safety consciousness cooperation shelter contribution communication touch creativity closeness water discovery community efficacy companionship HONESTY effectiveness compassion authenticity growth consideration integrity hope consistency presence learning empathy mourning inclusion PLAY participation intimacy joy purpose love humor self-expression mutuality stimulation nurturing PEACE to matter respect/self-respect beauty understanding safety communion security ease AUTONOMY stability equality choice support harmony freedom to know and be known inspiration independence to see and be seen order space to understand and spontaneity be understood trust warmth