Being Concise and Removing Redundancy - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

《 科技论文的阅读与写作 》 课 程主 页 ： http://inpluslab.com/paperwriting Course -6: Being Concise and Removing Redundancy 主 讲 ：黄 华 威 副教授 数据科学与 计 算机学院 学院个人主 页 ： http://sdcs.sysu.edu.cn/content/4989 1

Motivation n Factoids v The English language has evolved by eliminating unnecessary elements: gender (Old English had masculine, feminine and neuter), case ( no nominative ( 主格 ), accusative ( 宾 格 ) etc), verb endings (only the -s of the third person remains), and all the different forms of you (the current day you was originally the second person plural, and not the second person singular as is commonly thought - i.e. it is the equivalent of the French vous rather than tu ). v The language with the least number of words is Toki Pona （ 道本 语 ） . With its 123 word vocabulary its inventor, Sonja Lang, claims that you can say anything with no ambiguity. It takes 30 hours to master the language. 道本 语 亦称 人工皮 钦语 （道本 语 : toki pona ，含 义 ： “ 好的 语 言 ” ），是一种由加 拿大翻 译员 Sonja Lang 创 造的人工 语 言。 在 2001 年夏天首次在网上公布。它不是 按照国 际辅 助 语 来 设计 的，而是 围绕 道教 哲学 简 朴的生活 设计 [4] 。 2

Motivation (cont.) n Factoids v Many journals, particularly widely-read ones such as Science and Nature , have restrictions on the number of words per article. v On its website, Nature states: Our experience has shown that a paper's impact is maximized if it is as short as is consistent with providing a focused message, with a few crucial figures or tables. v A study conducted by Jakob Nielsen in 2006 tracked the movements of readers’ eyes as they read webpages. v He found that as the number of words on a page increased, the time spent by readers on reading a whole page only increased slightly . v He told his clients, i.e. webpage producers for companies, that when ‘ verbiage ’ (extra unnecessary words, 废话 ) is added to a page, only 18% of such verbiage will actually be read. 3

Motivation (cont.) n Factoids v Researchers at University College London revealed that v readers typically stop reading an online article or a book after only two pages v The study concluded that v readers today read in a new way , which the researchers named ‘power browsing’. 4

What is the buzz ( 嗡嗡声, 吸引你的注意 )? Your aim is NOT to receive a referee's report like this one: v It is the duty of the authors to present their manuscript ( MS ) in a way that it is readable and to the point. Only then can a reviewer critically evaluate the most essential data on which the conclusions are built. v When a manuscript is written in a highly redundant way it takes too much time and effort to judge whether or not all the analyses have been done correctly. v The MS is far too detailed making it unreadable . There is a lot of redundancy in the text, some parts are written as if this is a chapter in a text book. There are 144 references!!! And 12 pages of discussion!! v The result is that the actual findings that could be interesting are completely lost. There is no focus on what the authors really want to tell to the readers. v My suggestion to the editor is to reject this MS and give the authors the opportunity to resubmit a much more focused and condensed ( 浓缩的 ) manuscript. 5

What is the target of this course? Ø This chapter begins by giving you good reasons • to avoid redundancy, • and then shows you how to be concise. Ø However, being concise does NOT always mean using the least number of words. Ø It means using the least number of words that make the meaning 100% clear. 6

Course-6 目录 Write less 1. Cut individual redundant words 2. Consider cutting abstract words 3. Avoid generic + specific constructions 4. Using least # of words to draw attention 5. Reduce the # of link words 6. Use the shortest form possible when connecting sentences 7. Choose the shortest expressions 8. Cut redundant adjectives 9. Cut pointless introductory phrases 10. Replace impersonal expressions beginning it is … 11. Prefer verbs to nouns 12. Use one verb instead of a verb+noun 13. Reduce your authorial voice 14. Be concise when referring to figures and tables 15. Use the infinitive when expressing an aim 16. Remove unnecessary commonly-known or obvious information 17. Consider reducing the length of your paper 18. 7

6. 1 Write less ● You will make fewer mistakes in English, and your key points will be clearer • S1. The activity aimed at / to the extrapolation of the curve is not trivial. • S2. We did the calculation manually. This choice / choose meant that … • S1. The activity aimed at / to the extrapolation of the curve is not trivial. • S2. We did the calculation manually. This choice / choose meant that … 8

Course-6 目录 Write less 1. Cut individual redundant words 2. Consider cutting abstract words 3. Avoid generic + specific constructions 4. Using least # of words to draw attention 5. Reduce the # of link words 6. Use the shortest form possible when connecting sentences 7. Choose the shortest expressions 8. Cut redundant adjectives 9. Cut pointless introductory phrases 10. Replace impersonal expressions beginning it is … 11. Prefer verbs to nouns 12. Use one verb instead of a verb+noun 13. Reduce your authorial voice 14. Be concise when referring to figures and tables 15. Use the infinitive when expressing an aim 16. Remove unnecessary commonly-known or obvious information 17. Consider reducing the length of your paper 18. 9

6. 2 Cut individual redundant words ● Examples • It was small [ in size ], round [ in shape ] yellow [ in color ] and heavy [ in weight ]. • This will be done in [ the month of ] December for [ a period of ] size days. • Our research [ activity ] initially focused [ attention ] on [ the process of ] designing the architecture. • The [ task of ] analysis is not [ a ] straightforward [ operation ] and there is a [ serious ] danger that [ the presence of ] errors in the text… • The analyses [ performed in this context ] highlighted [ among other things ] the [ fundamental and critical ] importance of using the correct methodology in a consistent [ and coherent ( 一致的 ) ] manner [ of conduction ]. • This was covered in the Materials and Methods [ section ]. 10

6. 2 Cut individual redundant words (cont.) ● Avoid using strings of words with little/no differences in meaning – S1. So far, researchers have failed to solve this equation due to various issues, problems and difficulties . – S2. This point is critical and fundamental for our research purposes. 11

Course-6 目录 Write less 1. Cut individual redundant words 2. Consider cutting abstract words 3. Avoid generic + specific constructions 4. Using least # of words to draw attention 5. Reduce the # of link words 6. Use the shortest form possible when connecting sentences 7. Choose the shortest expressions 8. Cut redundant adjectives 9. Cut pointless introductory phrases 10. Replace impersonal expressions beginning it is … 11. Prefer verbs to nouns 12. Use one verb instead of a verb+noun 13. Reduce your authorial voice 14. Be concise when referring to figures and tables 15. Use the infinitive when expressing an aim 16. Remove unnecessary commonly-known or obvious information 17. Consider reducing the length of your paper 18. 12

6.3 Consider cutting abstract words Ø Cut abstract ( 抽象的 ) words • Words such as activity and task add no value to what you are saying. • They are very abstract and not memorable words for the reader. • If you find that your paper is full of the words listed below, first decide if you could cut them activity, case, character, characteristics, choice, circumstances, condition, consideration, criteria, eventuality, facilities, factor, instance, intervention, nature, observation, operation, phase, phenomenon, problem, procedure, process, purpose, realization, remark, situation, step, task, tendency, undertaking Ø For example what value does “the process of ” add in the follow sentence? The process of registration can take up to ten minutes. Ø Ask yourself: • What is important about my work? Only write in a • What is new about it? concrete way ! • What real contribution am I making? 13

Course-6 目录 Write less 1. Cut individual redundant words 2. Consider cutting abstract words 3. Avoid generic + specific constructions 4. Using least # of words to draw attention 5. Reduce the # of link words 6. Use the shortest form possible when connecting sentences 7. Choose the shortest expressions 8. Cut redundant adjectives 9. Cut pointless introductory phrases 10. Replace impersonal expressions beginning it is … 11. Prefer verbs to nouns 12. Use one verb instead of a verb+noun 13. Reduce your authorial voice 14. Be concise when referring to figures and tables 15. Use the infinitive when expressing an aim 16. Remove unnecessary commonly-known or obvious information 17. Consider reducing the length of your paper 18. 14

6.4 Avoid generic + specific constructions n Example Add no value ! Meetings will be held twice a year in June and December. Add no value ! We investigated two countries (i.e., Italy and France), both of which show their different characteristics. 15