A Shared Responsibility Working Together to Promote Positive Mental Health Nov 17,2015 Michelle Cassidy Mental Health Lead
Learning about You!
A case of the…. Ya buts………..
What are your hopes and dreams for your child?
“ How can we prepare kids for the tests of life rather than a life of tests ?” Linda Lantieri
Our Task as Parents and Educators To prepare our children/students to be: Ready for the post secondary and employment world Positive contributors to society Healthy and Thriving
What do we mean when we talk about mental health?
Holistic Approach
How can we together promote mental health for all?
What do we need to do to promote mental health? Reduce Stigma Develop understanding Create safe environments Teach social emotional skills This is the SAME for school and home.
Our Students “I feel like people won’t value me if I don’t do well at school” 32% Elem 39% Sec “I usually hide my feelings of anxiety and sadness” 58% Elem 64% Sec “I feel like people I am expected to be perfect ” 46% Elem 54% Sec
Your Brain on Anxiety
Dangers of Perfectionism (Unbalanced Achievement Orientation) • Students demonstrating perfectionism are at high risk for mental health challenges • Anxiety • Depression • Suicidality in relation to perceived failure
When to be Concerned How to know if your child is struggling with stress, anxiety, or perfectionism F requency I ntensity D uration D evelopment
When should I worry? High anxiety Hesitancy to move outside of the comfort zone Anxiety based procrastination Hyper-competitiveness “All or Nothing” Thinking Dysregulated affect: high distress for perceived “failures”
Why Does this Happen? The Power of the Brain
• Designed to keep our body in balance • Our body craves homeostasis • The brain supports adaptive functioning • It is hardwired to protect us
A Helpful Brain Model Dr. Daniel Siegel
Why is this important? Flight, Fight, or Freeze
Changing the Brain We need our brain to have the alarm system, we wouldn’t want to turn if off BUT higher level cortical functions help us moderate it • Plasticity allows us to strengthen how the brain regulates • Pruning gets rid of circuits we don’t use
The Significance of the Brain in Academic Achievement HEALTHIER BRAIN INCREASES ACHIEVEMENT
The Significance of Safe Space To learn students need to feel safe. When students don’t feel safe, the fight or flight center of the brain, the amygdala, fires and incapacitates the hippocampus, the new-learning center of the brain. Students then become survivors vs. learners (Nussbaum, 2012).
The Power of Relationships YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE! Cultivating relationships which promote mental health
We all have a primal need to
The Myth of SELF ELF Regulation https://youtu.be/Wz1pnFBLZM4
How can we help? Support your child to integrate self care
…. teach me HOW to calm down don’t just TELL me to…
Understanding the Triad S.O.S STOP….OBSERVE….SHIFT MIND Thoughts/Feelings BRAIN/BODY Behaviors Physiology
Exercise You are sitting in your room at night reading. You hear a noise/knocking at the window….. Your first thought is…..
Exercise What was your thought ? i.e. animal, branch, person/burglar What did you say to yourself? i.e. “ no big deal” (branch) “oh no, I’ve got to get out of here” (burglar) What feeling did your thoughts lead you to have? i.e. fear/dread (burglar) How would that feeling influence your actions ? i.e. run/hide/shake/tremble
Shifting the Triad: Modifying thoughts Thoughts/Feelings
Taming the Mind Cognitive reframing Interrupt the negative pattern Retrain the pattern Car analogy—automatic to manual
Shifting the Triad: Modifying Thoughts Anxiety: overestimate the threat, underestimate ability to cope Trying to judge perceived threats using a more rational scale Decrease perception of threat Increase capacity to cope
Cognitive Reframing Adapted from: D. Bilsker, M. Gilbert, D. Worling & E. J. Garland Situation Thoughts Realistic Thoughts Thinking Error What proof do I have? All or Nothing Thinking Overgeneralization Would most people Disqualifying the positive agree with this thought? Jumping to conclusions If not, what would be a more realistic thought? What would I say to a friend in a similar situation?
Self Compassion Not about judging ourselves positively, but a way of relating to ourselves kindly, embracing ourselves lovingly flaws and all
Impact of Self Compassion on Self Regulation • Particular impact on willpower • Donuts and Dieters: resultant increase in ability to self regulate (Adams &Leary, 2007) • The power of self compassion/forgiveness is demonstrated to prevent relapse : Alcohol Quitting smoking ( more effective than the patch ) Gambling Procrastination
Self Compassion Script 1. Notice your feelings (self doubt, criticism etc.) 2. Acknowledge common humanity (all people struggle/give in sometimes, it is just part of change) 3. Replace with encouragement over criticism (what would you say to your best friend)
Optimism A True Optimist
The Power of Optimism • Aim for Realistic Optimism • Explanatory style: Questions to change your “explanation” Was this out of my control, or did I cause it? What parts of the situation can I change? Is this something that affects all aspects of my life or just a part? How long will this really be a problem for?
Changing our Response: Modifying Physiology Sensation/Physiology Manage distress states, relaxation, deep breathing
Strategies: Take up Smoking Just kidding! Why this works: Taking a break physically from place/environment which generates stress Deep breathing Let’s practice… 4, 7, 8 Breathing
Mindfulness • A seated meditation may be easiest OR a body scan Seated Body Scan • MARC.ucla (Mindfulness Awareness Resource Centre) meditation recordings iTunes U Guided Mindfulness (free audio guided meditations)
Mindfulness Pause • Creates space between stimulus and response • Avoids reactivity e.g. blanking out during a test instead of panicking or reacting with anxiety, Mindful pause, deep breathing Calms the brains reaction and allows re engagement from a calmer space
“When I’m mad, and I get into a fight with my brother or anyone in my family, I go up to my room, and I start breathing, doing mindfulness, and it calms me down a little so things get back to normal.” Jacopo Grade 4
Family Mealtimes 1. Schedule them if you have to 2. No technology, including answering the phone 3. Structure the conversation, must be positive 4. Play soothing dinner music, have each family member create a playlist and rotate them 5. Devote one meal month to each family member (choice of meal, pick the positive conversation starter, and 1 affirmation)**identity development
Your role in supporting your child • Practice stress reduction with your child • Celebrate all aspects of your child—character, personality, school, work etc. • Deliver messages of self compassion • Get help if you feel their/your stress level is impacting you in ways you cannot manage
If the day ever came when we were able to accept ourselves and our children exactly as we are and they are, then, I believe we would have come to an understanding of what "good parenting" means. Fred Rogers
Final Strategy: Focus on YOU!! • Managing your own mental health is key Practice Self Compassion for you!!! • Open Loop system: relationships with others support emotional regulation • Mirror neurons • Emotions are contagious….for better or for worse
Are you ready to change the lens? The Power of Positive Psychology
The 21 day Challenge Daily: 1. Write down 3 new things you were grateful for that day 2. Journal one positive experience 3. Exercise 4. Meditation 5. One random act of kindness
Resources Websites: Parents for Children's Mental Health Anxiety BC Anxiety BC Parent Toolkit Mind Your Mind Books: Building Emotional Intelligence (Linda Lantieri) Flourish (Dr. Seligman) The Mindful Child (Susan Kaiser Greenland) Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain (Daniel Siegal) The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them (Elaine Aron) Keys to Parenting Your Anxious Child, ( Dr. Katharina Manassis) Worried No More, Second Edition: Help and Hope for Anxious Children ( Aureen Wagner) Freeing Your Child From Anxiety, (Tamar Chansky) Helping Your Anxious Child (Ronald M. Rapee)
Questions?
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