5 Eyes Presentation By Samuel Ariyevich 5 Eyes, my alien, has the highest social status. He is ranked E1, a half king, half god. Musicians are the second highest rank, rank Y. Mind Ball players are the third highest rank, rank E2 (see mind ball in Customs and Traditions for details). Priests are the fourth highest rank, B. Money is very important on the planet Ganguara, making merchants rank 5, A, on the list. Hospitality is the second lowest rank, L1, and though may sound important, is usually not needed, as most Ganguarians are immortal, and the planet, Ganguara, happens to be named after an Earthling health facility. The lowest rank, L2, is the citizens, who simply work as farmers and get little salary. The ranks put together from first to last spell EYEBALL, in honor of 5 Eyes, the Ganguarian half king, half god, who has a rare number of 5 eyes (most Ganguarians have 3 or 4). The aliens can marry and give birth if they are ranks E1 to B, or if they have an emergency stash of 250 balbies for economic safety (see balbies in Economic Systems for details). All children go to school freely as they please, and criminals are rare, maybe 30 per a generation. Social organization is entirely controlled by 5 Eyes. The highest Ganguarian ranking (which is 5 Eyes) must have seven real or artificial legs and two real or artificial fingers on each hand, all of which painted blue. 5 Eyes is in charge of all holidays and systems on Ganguara. Systems include government and economics (see Government or Economic Systems for details). Holidays celebrated on Ganguara are New Year, Valentine’s Day, Cinco de Mayo, and traditional birthdays. A New Year tradition is to shave all the hair on your head to start a new beginning. Ganguarians do not like shy people, so on Valentine’s Day, it is tradition to climb the Gangian Mountains and shout out your love to everyone who can hear. Cinco de Mayo is the most important holiday; it honors the coronation of 5 Eyes. On this day, the aliens eat ground turtle shells and piranha teeth soup, dance The Living Heaven, and play games as Mind Ball and Paiwanta. Ganguarians have telekinesis, so as a challenge, the game is played like Earthling tennis, but played with the mind only. Paiwanta is a game of strength. The idea is to break 20 coconuts against your head before the opponent does. 5 Eyes also is presented with a new concora, a fluffy, colorful, and kingly hat made from piranha skin. Daily customs involve drinking 3 glasses of apple juice (see Religions for details), brushing teeth with redwood bark, bee training (see Religions for details), bathing in lion blood to smell nice, and sleeping in an underwater glow worm cave. Not following traditions other than daily, not worshipping gods, or committing crime could result in being vaporized by slightly effective plasma rays.
The current language of Ganguara is Flirco. The only word in the language is actually Flirco, but is communicated as different things by using different volumes and tongue movements. Percoguana is the language of the bees, purple tongued lizards, turtles, lions, glow worms, and piranhas, the only Ganguarian animals. They speak using chips and peeps like that of birds. Only 5 Eyes can understand Percoguana because he is a one of a kind known alien called a space monkey. The aliens write with the Earthling language of Russian. Any animals taught to write also wrote in Russian. Any music or songs were classical, and were treasured for all of eternity. Ganguarians have long before discovered the species of animals called Earthlings and were simply fascinated by the creatures. Any famous artwork or literature in alien museums called mantiqas was based on Earthlings. They used large palm leaves and mud to write stories. Famous pieces were written by 5 Eyes, about Yuri Gagarin, Usain Bolt, and Jacques Cousteau. Many aliens used stone to paint pictures of places with colors new to them, as the Ganguarian landscape was simply green and brown. The Mona Lisa, Starry Night, and The Scream were treasure to the Ganguarians. Art and literature were not often based on Ganguara. Pictures and literatures about our wonderful planet were found on Ganguara that date back to 4,000,000,000 years ago, ever since Earth existed. Ganguarians are polytheistic; they believe in 2 gods: 5 Eyes, the half king half god, and his wife, Muaralai, the lion goddess. Gods were given offerings every year on the 1 st of May, including lion skin, art and literatures, bees, honey, plasma guns (owned only by 5 Eyes), glow worms, colorful rocks, and occasionally human sacrifices (only to those who commit crime). Statues of gods were built around temples, also made for the gods. Pictures of gods were tattooed onto the skin of Ganguarians. Gods plagued those who did not worship them. They would suffer animal bites, asthma, vomiting, strokes, coconuts falling on their heads, being barfed on by animals, lion pox, and possibly being occasionally possessed by Ganguarian pink bellied zombies. The Living Heaven was danced around the temples, and a series of games called the Ganga Games was held every month. The aliens believed that gods give great gifts to aliens who made them laugh. It was an almost impossible feat, and aliens who managed were given almost any 5 wishes they wanted. A part of the Ganga Games specifically honors this feat. It is called the Laughing Stock. They also believed that the gods had special powers. 5 Eyes could combine any 5 objects to become one more powerful object using his incredible brain power. Muaralai can make anybody happy just by sleeping with her in the night. This is unexplained to the Ganguarians, excepting 5 Eyes, who vowed not to spill the beans.
Economics are very significant on Ganguara. Ganguarians pay for only art and literature, souvenirs, and committing crime. Anything that involved surviving was given free because Ganguarians are very kind and don’t make others die because they don’t have money. Ganguarian currency is Balbies. One Balbi is equal to $10,000. More currencies are Calbies, Dalbies, Falbies, and Galbies. One Calbi = $1,000, one Dalbi= $100, one Falbi= $10, and one Galbi= $1. Money can be given to the gods, but is usually kept for the aliens only. 5 Eyes has the power to buy anything for anyone for any price, as well as Muaralai. The only other economic law is that a merchant has to be willing to sell something to either everybody or nobody. Violation of this law or any economic law could result in being vaporized by slightly effective plasma rays.
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